


Star Wars - Thief in the Darkness

by WeaverOfWords (Fantasy_elf)



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family, Fate & Destiny, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Jealous Kylo Ren, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Original Female Character, Past Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Redeemed Ben Solo, Romance, Slow Romance, Strong Female Characters, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasy_elf/pseuds/WeaverOfWords
Summary: I never realised how dangerous he would be to me. He was a warrior of the darkness and I was a rebel of the light. And destiny would not be denied..."There will be no army to protect you. No alliance to save you. There will be no planet, star or darkened rock in which you can hide from me. I will always find you... Always."Kylo Ren/OC - follows The Force Awakens





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

-o-o-o-

"You must be ready at any moment, to sacrifice what you are, for what you will become..." - Eric Thomas

-o-o-

(Planet Jakku)

I sat there, lounging across the beam of a market tent. A barely tangible breeze drifted across its fabrics, making it flap under its caress. One of my legs dangled as I watched the villagers below move about with their daily activities. The small village was awash with various people of mixed races, both human and non-human. There were those that bought and those who traded. It was the way of the world here, survival at its highest peak. The bright golden sands of Jakku were vast and empty with little signs of life beyond the small town. Though it was a peaceful place, it was also a dangerous place to live alone, unprotected and young. I learned that the hard way.

Grit and dust blew up into my face, but the cowl wrapped around my face and hair protected me. Not far away, I caught sight of a familiar lone figure. A woman with dark hair tied back behind her head. Tattered pale cloth adorned her shape. Though young and slender in size, she lugged a heavy net of shrapnel across the area and headed straight for the exchange counter.

"Rey." I whispered the name.

My eyes followed her movements as I stood and began to make my way across the beams towards her location. The twin blades at my hips swung against me, hidden, but there. My legs were steady as I leap my way across the marketplace. Unseen. Unnoticed. A ghost amongst the crowd.

A huge Crolute stood behind the counter and spoke to Rey. Unkar Plutt, junk boss of Jakku, was a beast of male to deal with. Though I knew his tricks well, others were not so lucky. Thuggish, unfair and lawless, he took from the desperate and paid little in return. His grotesque personality matched his equally grotesque appearance.

I paused above the container that was his trading block and listened closer, peering down at the girl and brute with interest.

" What you've brought me today is worth," came his raspy gruff voice that set my teeth on edge, "hmm... One quarter portion."

I snorted and shook my head. Old habits never died with Unkar, it seemed. The idiot that he was. From my position, I could see Rey's expression, twisted with turmoil and struggle.

I sprung and twisted, leaping with the agility of a cat to the sandy ground directly between Rey and booth. I rose up from my crouch and turned to glare at the Crolute.

" Bollocks, Unkar." I pulled down my cowl to reveal my face as I glared up at the mangled-fleshed waste of space behind the counter. The blistering hot air drifted across my scalp, ruffling my short hair. Both the woman and Unkar turned to look at me with surprise at my sudden appearance. I couldn't help it, a grin drifted across my lips.

"Freya?" Rey whispered, taken aback. Her young suntanned face frowned before she nodded to me in greeting.

I grinned back her, before turning to Unkar once again and leaning a hip casually against his workspace. I peered up through the bars up at him. Despite his gigantic height, I was not intimidated. Far from it.

" Are you really gonna do this again?" I asked him, giving him my most dazzling smile. " Come on, you know it's worth more than that."

"You again!" He grunted. "I'm sick of seeing your face around here. Always mingling in business that has nothing to do with you."

I sighed dramatically and shook my head at him like a mother would a disobedient child. "Now, now, blobby-" he gave a deep growl as I called him by his favourite nickname. "I saw you take less than half of what this lass is offering you for half a portion earlier. A bit unfair, don't you think? Where's your integrity?"

A meaty fist slammed down hard upon the counter, fury flashed across his hideous features.

"What would you know about integrity? You dirty thieving scum!"

"Ouch, careful blobby, you may just hurt my feelings." I gave a sardonic laugh, "I guess that makes both of us then, huh? You take from the poor for little payment. That sounds like theft too in my book. And I steal from people who are greedy, lazy bastards-" I gestured a hand towards him nonchalantly, "-like yourself."

I barely had time to finish my sentence before a thick, heavy hand thrust between the bars and wrapped itself into the front of my jerkin. My whole body weight lifted with alarming strength until I was inches away from Unkar's sneering face.

Perfect... Set the bait. Lure them in. Distract, And then swipe the goods.

Blobby was breathing hard against my face, practically glaring daggers. Oh, if looks could kill. But it was perfect. His focus was entirely on me. His anger was in full control of his senses. He did not notice the sly smile that crept across my mouth. He didn't notice my hand slide across the package of portion and drag it into my pocket.

He'd fallen for it again. What a moron. I couldn't help but appreciate the rush of satisfaction that flooded through me.

"I'll have your guts for decorations if you don't clear out," he grumbled. "I'm warning you now."

I lifted my hands in an innocent gesture, trying to look as placid and appeasing as possible.

" Alright, Alright, I give up. You win." My feet were slowly lowered to the floor again. The hand holding me loosened and disappeared. "Don't shit your knickers," I mumbled under my breath before stepping to the side.

"Go," Unkar grumbled, "Don't let me see you around here again."

I shrugged, "Ok, fine. Hurry up and give her the payment and we will get out of your hair."

"What?" An ugly snarl twisted across his thick protruding lips.

Rey glanced between us, confusion shining through her bright eyes. I winked at her, gesturing with a lift of my brow for her to follow my lead.

"I want my payment," she finally said after a brief pause.

Unkar slammed a fist down in anger once again, "I just gave you it!"

Rey shook her head, her face still as stone. "No, you didn't."

"Come on, blobby, don't be playing games with us now." I joined in, giving him a stern look. "Don't forget to pay your clients, otherwise it will look bad of your reputation."

We watched him struggle for a moment. His flabby cheeks puffing angrily as he looked around his container.

"Fine!" I heard his draw open and close with a solid bang. His thick-fingered hand slammed down upon the counter, revealing another sachet of portion.

"Half a portion for the goods. Now get out of here!"

We didn't need telling twice. With a brief nod, Rey and I turned and walked away towards her chunky red speeder.

" One day Freya, he's going to catch you doing that and have your head on a pike," Rey said.

I chuckled at her. My boots crunched across the sand, kicking up dust with each step. I reached for my belt and untied a canteen of fresh water. I took long, much-needed swallow before passing it to her.

"Maybe," I wipe at my mouth with the back of my sleeve, "but his ass is too fat to be able to catch me. So I highly doubt it."

There was a moment's pause between us. A short time in which we simply stood there looking at one another. Rey looked drawn, tired. There was a shadow within her eyes. Something that echoed back to me, something I recognised, but could not name.

"It's good to see you, Freya." She said finally, "It's been a while. Where have you been?"

I shrugged at her, "I've been here and there. Keeping alive."

Rey took a heavy swig of the cool water and sighed before handing it back to me with thanks.

I pushed it back to her. "Keep it, you're gonna need it." I pulled the stolen portion from my pockets and threw it to her. "Take this too."

She caught it easily and looked at me with uncertainty. "But, what about you?"

"I have extra. Take it."

The hidden message behind my words was loud and clear between us as though I had spoken them aloud. I stole what I wanted. I wasn't an honest working person. If I wanted it, I took it.

"Thank you," was her reply. So deeply sincere and heavy with appreciation. Something inside my chest twinged in response.

I shuttered my expression and buried those unwanted feelings deep. Hiding them from myself and the rest of the world. I bid her a brief goodbye and began to wander back into town.

I pulled my cowl back up around my head. Troubled thoughts rolling through my mind like turbulent waves.

Thinking back, I could not recall at which point Rey and I had become known to each other, even friends of sorts. Over the years we had become aware of one another. I knew little about her, yet I knew she was like me. A woman, alone, struggling to survive. But I never loitered. I never got involved or close to others, no matter how much I connected with them. I would not face that pain again, not like before. The pains of the past were too much to bear. So like a lone wildcat, I travelled from place to place. Never settling or belonging anywhere. I stole what I needed. I lived a life of unscrupulous means. A life drowning in uncertainty, blood, sweat and loneliness. There was no such thing as home for me, or family, or friendship. It was how things have always been. It was survival, it was life.

In a world of uncertainty, fear and war; I was a warrior.

I stood there looking around with emptiness at the empty sands around me. The sun beat down on me without me without mercy. The ancient sands beneath my feet offered no comfort to the longing in my heart.

I wish, silently, but for a brief moment, that things could have been different...

I wanted more from life.

...  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-  
...

The following few days went by in a whirl. The baking heat made me lethargic. I found myself snoozing most of the time, sometimes watching villagers go about their daily lives. I laid across the roof of one of the vegetable stalls, staring up at the bright sky. Boredom clawed at my insides, making me restless. I found myself daydreaming about a beautiful sunset across a vast and open sea of water. I imagined cool grass beneath my bare feet, instead of burning sand. To be in another time, in another world, another place, sounded heavenly.

"One half portion." I heard a familiar gruff voice sound from not far away below me.

I let my head loll to the side and found the rather deja vu sight of Rey standing before the exchange counter. I frowned. What was she doing here again? I knew her schedule, like many others who came here. I knew her habits. I watched people closely, ever observant. It wasn't like her to come twice in the same week.

"Last week these were half a portion each." I heard Rey argue, followed by a strange beeping noise that made me sit up to attention. I leaned forward, peering down at the situation unfolding beneath me.

Sure enough, Rey was there arguing with Unkar again, but beside her was a very strange little bot. A droid of sorts. It was like a sphere, rolling around animatedly, making noises like it was actually having a conversation.

"What about the droid?" Unkar retorted, I could hear the slyness in his voice. The treacherous snake that he was.

"What about him?" Rey responded. She cast a steady look down upon the little ball-shaped machine by her legs.

"I'll pay for him. Sixty portions." He slammed the packages across the counter and even I felt my eyes bulge at the generous offer.

Holy shit balls, sixty portions was a lot! Even for a droid, it was enough to feed a single person a good month or two. I watched Rey curiously, interested to know what she'd do.

" Actually... the droid isn't for sale."

Was she nuts? I shook my head slowly. I would have gladly sold that bundle of metal for that amount of food. I had never seen it with her before, so I couldn't understand what value it must have had to her.

Rey walked away, the droid rolling in tow behind her. I could hear Unkar's frustrated grumbling. His large shadow moving beyond the bars of his container. His voice reached me from across the short space.

"Follow the girl, and get me that droid!"

Shit. This wasn't good. A heavy sensation drop like a rock into the pit of my stomach. I leaped up from my spot and began to follow Rey. I stalk her, vaulting quietly from one roof to another. All the while keeping a distance, ever vigilant.

Something was going to happen. I could feel it. She was in danger.

It didn't take long for me to figure out what. I saw them coming straight away, approaching from the side with a purpose in their step, heading directly for Rey and the droid.

Unkar's thugs...

I picked up my pace, leaping across the space with ease. Years of experience and practice gave me the advantage and speed that I needed. I reached them quickly. One thug attacked, grabbing for Rey as the other tried to throw a blanket across the droid. Rey kicked and fought against them.

I sprung into action dropping down amongst them with my twin blades drawn and activated. They surged with a heady electric pulse, glowing a dangerous blue. One of the thugs whirled towards me, surprised by my sudden appearance. I twisted, leaping into a spin, my leg swung out connecting soundly against the imbeciles skull with such force that I heard his neck crack. I pivoted on my feet, my arm swinging out. The blade in my hand flew from my fingers, spinning dangerously, before lodging itself deep in the throat of the attacker who held Rey.

Both bodies fell to the floor with a thud. Silence filled the atmosphere as my adrenaline began to fade away into calmness.

"Freya." Rey sighed in relief, pulling herself to a stand.

"Are you ok?" I strode to her, grabbing her arm gently to look her over for injuries. "Did they hurt you?"

"I'm alright. I was just taken by sur-"

The droid chimed into action, beeping animatedly. We both turned to it with confusion. It seemed to be trying to tell us something. And while Rey seemed to have some idea of what it was saying, I, however, was completely clueless.

"What's up with him?" I asked, sliding my blades back into their holders.

They both ignored me, deep in conversation with one another. A panicked expression fell across Rey's face and they were both looking in the direction of one of the tents.

"Who?" Rey asked, looking directly at a lone figure watching them from the shadows. "Him?"

A frowned at the person in question. A dark-skinned guy stood there, observing us. He wore a lot of clothing, including a tanned leather jacket; he clearly was not a local around these parts. A foreigner? From a distance, he looked tall and athletic, but there was something strange about him. Suspicious even. He shuffled uneasily, looking directly at us before spinning around and darting in the opposite direction.

What a weird guy...

I barely had time to process what had happened before Rey was up and running after him, disappearing amongst the crowd.

What the fu-

"Woah, Rey. Wait!"

My legs sprung into action and I began to follow them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

-o-o-o-

"The journey begins with a single step..."

-o-o-

I darted between the tents after them. At one point I lost sight of Rey and the stranger, but I knew this area like the back of my hand. It was my playground. I vaulted up onto a roof, leaping across the space. I followed their tracks in the sand, hunting them easily. There she stood, Rey, towering over the fallen man. I jumped down beside her and upon closer inspection, I saw that he was young, not much older than myself. The jacket he wore was that of a flight pilot.

I froze, the details clicking into place in my mind like a jigsaw puzzle. Was he part of the resistance? Jakku was a barren planet, with little life growing on it or sign of conflict. But even here there were stories of the rebellion, of the battle against the first order.

Rey pinned the male down with her quaterstaff, both parties breathing heavily from the chase.

"What's your hurry, thief?" Rey snarled at him, whacking him in the chest for good measure.

"Rey, wait." I stepped closer to stand beside her, looking down at our new companion. He looked rough, covered in dust and his skin dry like the desert sand on which he laid upon. But most of all he looked afraid. Trying to be calm, but definitely afraid of something. His eyes kept casting around them, as though searching for a threat we could not see.

"The jacket," Rey demanded, leaning closer in threat. "BB-8 says you stole it. It belongs to his master."

The man held up his hands in a non-threatening gesture, "It belonged to Poe Dameron." He looked between the droid and Rey with panic. "That's his name, right? He was captured by the first order. I helped him escape but our ship crashed..." he trailed off, sadness casting a shadow across his dark eyes. "Poe didn't make it. I tried to help him. I'm sorry..."

The BB droid next to me moved back. It moved slowly, almost sadly in reaction to the news. I felt the urge to reach out and pat its domed metal head in reassurance.

"So," Rey lowered her staff, her expression changing to that of wonder. "You're with the resistance?"

There was a moment's pause. Long. Awkward. And somewhat suspicious.

"Obviously," the man replied, nodding in confirmation, "Yes. Yes, I am with the resistance."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I knew a liar when I saw one. Some were good at lying, but this guy wasn't one of them. I could see right through him. And the way his eyes darted away from me nervously confirmed my suspicions even more. Which left me with questions. Who was he? What was he up to? If he wasn't with the resistance, then who was he with? Time would tell. He couldn't hide it forever, that was for certain. This stranger and BB unit seemed linked somehow.

"I've never met a resistance fighter before," Rey smiled up at him and I couldn't prevent my eyes from rolling at her naivety.

They carried on talking to one another in hushed, excited voices, but something drew my focus away from them. A disturbance at the far end of the marketplace. I tried to peer closer but couldn't make out what was happening amongst the crowds of people.

"...Luke Skywalker..."

My head snapped back to the pair, my mouth falling open at the mentioned name.

"Luke Skywalker?" I repeated in awe. " As in, Skywalker the Jedi master?"

I'd heard of such a person. A person so powerful and wise, yet only heard about in stories and legends. His name was known throughout all of the galaxies. But surely he couldn't be real, could he? My mind went wild at the idea. The force, Jedi's, the dark side; none of it was real... Was it?

The BB droid began to beep in high pitched panic. All three of us span towards the far end of the market. The commotion from earlier had grown in intensity. The throng of people parted and there, staring directly at us, was a pair of stormtroopers. Armed, and beginning to make their way towards us.

Uh oh, this wasn't good. What were storm troopers doing here? I couldn't fathom it at first, but then it clicked. I spun to the dark male who stood beside us, who was also looking towards the troopers with unease.

"Come on!" He shouted suddenly and reached for Rey, dragging her along with him as he began to run.

I stood there for a moment, stunned like an idiot watching them flee. I had no idea what was going on. Or who this strange guy was, or why Rey was escaping with him.

I didn't have much time to ponder it as laser blasted and scorched its way across the cleaning unit, inches away from my body. I ducked down low as more blasts shot their way towards me.

What the...

I could hear their heavy footsteps drawing nearer. I shot up and began to run in the direction Rey and the stranger had taken.

I caught up with them swiftly, just as a loud and oppressive screeching filled the skies. The sound deafening. I skidded to a stop and tilted my head back, looking up to the source. My stomach dropped and fear flooded my veins like ice. Two TIE fighters screamed above us. Turning in the air before launching a merciless assault upon the village. Sand and debris flew all around me. I was thrown hard to the ground, my teeth rattling from the impact. My ears rang.

Troopers and now starfighters were here. They were hunting for the male stranger in the pilot jacket. I knew it with every fibre of my being. They offered no mercy, they came here to kill.

I spat out the sand from my mouth and glared at the stranger laying beside me and Rey. "You! What the fuck is going! You know, don't you? Who are you?"

"I'll explain later," he gasped, "We've got to move!"

I shot up, following after them as they made a beeline towards a crash wreck covered in huge sheets of tarpaulin. Above me I could hear the slicing of the fighters shots through the air, the blasts shaking the ground beneath my feet.

I was practically crawling my way up the ship's ramp when it began to surge into life. The lights blazed brightly and the door began to move. I lunged forward with all my might in time to make it inside before they closed with a soft whoosh.

"I don't like this," I breathed heavily to myself, "I don't like this one single bit." I slid down against a nearby wall, adrenaline burning through my body like liquid fire.

"Gunner position's down there!"

"You ever flown this thing?!"

Rey and the stranger's voices echoed nearby. I pulled myself up and rushed further into the aircraft. My footsteps clanged loudly against the metal flooring as I sprinted down the corridors. I burst through a set of doors to find Rey sat in the cockpit looking at me.

"Sit down and get strapped in!"

I didn't need telling twice. I took the nearest seat and buckled myself in just as panic seized me full on. The area was too small and enclosed for my liking. The walls seemed to narrow around me. The air seemed thin in here. The lights harsh and bright, but hardly enough to give me comfort. My body trembled, shuddering so hard that it felt as though I was about to tear a limb from the tension. The ship began to vibrate, rising up from the ground with a shudder. It tilts and my body tilts with it.

"Breathe, Freya," I chant to myself over and over. "Breathe, just breathe."

Rey and the stranger shout to one another, but my mind is too foggy to make sense of what is happening. I had no control over my body or the situation. The speed of the flying ship caught my stomach with unpleasant butterflies. I gripped the straps of my seat with tight fingers, strangling it.

Through the chaos, my brain drifts through a languid fog, lost in a whirlwind of sensation and memories that were familiar and unwanted...

_The walls close in around me, darkness is everywhere. Suffocating. Strangling me of my sanity._

_"Please... Let me out!"_

_My legs and arms thrash out against walls of my prison. The space so small I can barely turn within its confines._

_"I won't do it again... please!"_

_There is no light, no freedom, no comfort._

_Blackness is my captor._

_"Father!" ___

__"Freya!"_ _

__As though emerging from a deep sea of water, I gasped for breath and sprung upright. Hands rested upon my shoulders, comforting and gentle. I blink through the haze and look to the person standing over me. Rey. Her light eyes searched mine, filled with concern._ _

__"Freya? Are you alright?" She said again._ _

__"What happened?" I asked groggily, sitting straighter in the seat. My neck ached terribly, my stomach burned as though filled with bile and fire. I felt awful. My head was heavy, unclear. I lifted a hand, trying to clear the fog that clouded it. "Where am I?"_ _

__"We're still aboard the ship. We managed to escape the fighters." Rey explained._ _

__I unbuckled my belt and stood up on unsteady feet. My entire back felt moist, drenched in sweat._ _

__"That.." I began, with a shake of my head, "...was by far the worst experience I've had in long time."_ _

__I turned a little and I noticed then the dark stranger stood nearby watching us. The same guy from earlier whom the troopers had been chasing. He had a lot to answer for, and I was determined to get answers._ _

__"You." I stepped towards him, pointing at him with a shaking arm. "Who are you? Why were they following you?"_ _

__"It's ok," Rey said, resting a hand upon my shoulder again. "He's with the resistance. He's trying to get BB-8 back home, he has the map to help find Luke Skywalker."_ _

__I frowned, "BB-8?"_ _

__She gestured downwards. I looked down to find the little white and orange droid from earlier beside us. Its domed like head spun towards me. The rounded circle of its optic zooming in. Curious._ _

__"The droid?" I asked._ _

__Rey nodded, "BB-8. That's his name. We have to help him." She looked to the man standing beside her, "I don't know your name."_ _

__"Finn," He answered, albeit after a brief pause. "What's yours?"_ _

__"I'm Rey," she gestured towards me, "and this is Freya. A friend."_ _

__A friend..._ _

__That word alone made my chest warm and calm. I slid myself back down upon my seat, my legs still weak. I glanced between the two of them; Rey and Finn. I'd never had companions as such. Yet this young woman stood before me and declared me as her friend. Despite all the rush, all the chaos and fear I had experienced in such a short time, I felt myself smiling._ _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

-o-o-o-

"Fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all..."

-o-o-

I lounged within the main hold, recovering. My body felt drained, tired from the never-ending adrenaline rush I'd experienced since leaving Jakku. In the distance I could hear people moving around the ship. Rey and Finn's voices were faint but a reassuring sound amongst the silence. They were fixing the ship together. I, knowing nothing about such things, decided to rest and explore.

I was at peace. For the first time in a long time I enjoyed the solace. There were no crowds here. No need to be on high alert. No need to hide or steal. There was food, warmth and protection. I savoured the change of scenery. It was liberating, in a sense.

The lights above flickered steadily, lulling me almost to sleep. Until there was a loud crash and they all blacked out completely.

That's not good.

My eyes flew open. I sat up and tried to peer around the darkness. Fear began to creep up into my throat. My shaking hands reached for my blades. With a quick flick of my wrists, I pulled them out and activated them. Their soft blue glowing light illuminated the room around me. I held them up and trying to use them to guide my way around the area.

"Freya!?" I heard some shout for me.

It was Rey.

Using the blades as a light source, I ran through the nearest door and headed towards where I knew Rey and Finn were working. I skidded to a stop when I found them standing there, staring towards me with wide eyes.

The grinding of metal shook the ship, grating so loudly like its structure was being ripped into two.

"What is it? What's happening?" I stepped closer to them, sharing the light.

"It's the First Order. They're here." Finn's voice shook as he spoke.

" What do we do? There must be something-" Rey began.

"You said poisonous gas, right? Can you unfix that?" Finn cut in, staring at Rey with expectation.

I looked between the two of them, completely lost. Had the First Order found us already? It seemed as thought the entire ship had been disabled. There was no light, no power.

Someone was here...

Rey suddenly grabbed for my hand and began to pull me. "Come on, Freya. I'm going to need your help."

I barely had time to process what was happening. We grabbed for some gas masks as we passed through the lounge area, running towards a room. An open grate sat at the center. We all struggled into the open hole and hunkered down, pressing the masks across our faces for protection. Finn reached up and pulled the grate across us, hiding us in the darkness.

"Freya, deactivate your blades!" Rey hissed in rushed panic.

I stared down at the glowing objects in my hand with uncertainty. With reluctance, I turned them off, leaving us in total blackness. I slid them into my belt and tried to steady my breathing.

The darkness around me robbed me of my sight, but heightened all my other senses. Like a heavy blanket, it smothered and covered me. Oppressive and stifling. I could feel the familiar panic starting to rise up into my throat.

_Blackness..._

_"Please, let me go!"_

_Sheer terror..._

_I could hear a voice calling... My voice._

_"Father! Please!"_

"Freya?" Someone whispered to me. I closed my eyes, basking in the presence of Rey and Finn beside me.

I was safe.

From above a set of doors slid open. Footsteps followed, heavy and steady. There were two of them, two individuals walked up the ramp and onto the ship. Their boots hovered and pausing directly above our heads, before wandering further onwards.

Or so I thought...

The grate above us was suddenly pulled open. Blinding light flooded our little hideout. My hands reached for my blades, ready for combat. I'd never fought with storm trooper before, but I guess there was a first time for everything.

However, what met our eyes was not a trooper, but a man. Donned in black and white attire. He stared down at us with a surprise that matched our own. Beside him was... I couldn't even say what it was. It stood tall, with such height that it towered over its human companion with ease. Long golden brown fur covered it from head to toe. It grinned at them, flashing sharp pointed white teeth before it gave a rumbling warble.

What the...

"Where are the others? Where's the pilot?" The man asked us.

We all looked to one another before Rey stepped forward and lifted a hand.

"I'm the pilot."

-o-o-  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
-o-o-

Han Solo was his name. Ex rebellion general and pro smuggler; dealing with secret exchanges of shipments. The big hairy beast was called Chewbacca. A Wookie; some kind of hairy humanoid species native to the planet Kashyyyk. I'd never heard of it. Meeting the pair had been an experience in itself. I'd heard of Han Solo, thought briefly. He revealled that he knew Luke Skywalker and at one time been close companions with him. Which made Han Solo, to us, an invaluable ally.

After a brief meeting with some unsavoury friends of Han's, we managed to form an agreement of camaraderie. The map BB-8 had been hiding truly did show the hidden whereabouts of Skywalker. And while I hadn't seen the map personally, Han seemed determined to help us find the Jedi master.

Han seemed a steady man, witty, but capable. I liked him. Though he was a smuggler he wasn't greedy or self gratifying. He had a close bond to the Wookie, which told me he cared about others.

Although I didn't understand it, I was beginning to feel a sense of kinship with the members aboard the falcon with me.

From my seat, I stared at the lush green planet below us. I gazed at the thriving land in awe. As far as the eyes could see there were endless sheets of trees and foliage. No sand. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Takodana, Han called it. We'd agreed to visit the planet, seeking out a goggled female alien by the name of Maz Kanata. An old acquaintance of Han's. He believed she would be of help to us. But it was a risk as we were now marked and hunted by the First Order.

The Falcon shuddered, jostling as it touched down to ground. I rose from my seat and walked towards the cockpit where Rey and Han were controlling the unit. Discussing a plan of action.

"Well?" I asked, looking between the two of them. "I don't see a castle anywhere. Are you sure this is the place?"

Han's chair spun as he turned to me with a pointed stare. "Trust me, it's here." He pointed at me, " I need you to stay here and help Chewie-"

"She's coming with us," Rey cut in, her head snapping to solo with determination. "I won't leave her behind."

I shrugged, "Hey, no. You go ahead, I'll take care of fluffy. Speak to this Maz person, see what information they can tell us."

I tried to appear as nonchalant as possible, but my eyes kept flying towards the wilderness beyond the aircraft windows. I had my own agenda for wanting to hang around the falcon. I wanted to explore the island and enjoy it for the short amount of time we were going to stay here.

"You heard the lady," Han said as he stood and grabbed his weapons from the wall, shoving them into their holsters. "Chewie!?" A warble sounded in reply from the sickbay. "Make sure you look after her! Don't forget to fix the shield generator!"

Rey cast a worried glance in my direction, but I gave her a reassuring grin.

"Go on, It's gonna be fine." I patted my hand against my blade for emphasis. "I'll keep an eye out."

It seemed like she wanted to say something to me, but changed her mind. She grabbed her satchel and staff before following Han through the corridors. Finn met them on the ramp and as a small team descended out of sight.

Chewie's large hulking form strode from one of the side doors. He stared at me with intelligent, almost human-like eyes. His teeth flashing as he gave a grumbling moan. I had no idea what he was saying. His long hairy arm gestured towards a table, a strange little circular board at its center. He lumbered over towards it and touched something that activated it into life. Little holographic creatures moved upon the board, glowing a faded flickering blue.

I frowned at him, my curiosity piqued. "What is that? A game?"

Chewie nodded, sliding into one of the seats.

I grinned at him, "Let's play."

-o-o-  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
-o-o-

For a good hour we played. Despite the language barrier between us, I was able to understand and grasp some of the basic rules. Chewie was a playful soul. He chirped and howled with excitement whenever he won - which was pretty much every time. It was like watching another human. His expressions, tones of voice and body language were an exact replicate to mine. It made me feel more connected to him. Dare I consider it, but I even found him kinda cute. Like a beloved pet that you wanted to sit and cuddle with all evening. And I think he liked me too.

I sigh and stretched, my back cracking under the strain. "Ugh, what time is it? They've been a while."

Chewie groaned in response, seeming to voice his own concerns.

I glanced towards the open door of the ship, as though expecting them to return at any moment now. I was eager for them to return. As more time passed, a worm of a worry began to bury itself into my mind.

What if something had happened to them? What if they were in trouble?

I shook my head, trying to clear the doubts and fears. I needed air. I needed to get off this ship for a while or I was going to lose my mind.

"I'm going for a walk." I stood up and reached for my cowl, wrapping it around my shoulders and neck.

Chewie grumbled loudly in complaint.

I patted his head gently, his long hair tangling against my fingers. "Don't worry, I won't be long. I want to stretch my legs a little bit."

He made a guttural sound of denial, but I ignored him and walked towards the door. The moment the sun touched me, I already began to feel a million times better. I descended down the ramp until my feet touched the dark soil of the ground.

I turned left, picking a random section of the forest to explore first. I walked through the woodlands, thriving on the energy that only nature could offer. I could smell the plant life, fresh and alluring in its simplicity. The sun reached me even through the canopy of the trees overhead. It streaked through the gaps, tickling my flesh with heat. My arms drifted out and my fingers glided across a twisting vine, its leaves smooth beneath my fingertips. The wind skimmed across my hair and clothes. Surrounding me. Creating a realm of balance and security. I paused, staring with awe. Cliffs and hills rolled onward in the distance, never-ending and magical.

It felt different here. I was different. All the memories of the past, all the deeds and troubles of my life simply washed away into nothingness. Here, I could be whoever I wanted to be. Here, I wasn't shunned like a leper or rejected. I was no one here. I was free. There was no pressure, no judgment, no demands.

Just life...

Raw emotion crawled up my throat, choking me. Through the warmth of feelings rushing through me, I allowed myself to dream. I imagined having a home of my own, surrounded by people who loved and cared for me. A family. I was no longer the street rat others knew me to be. Instead, I was a beautiful strong woman, with children and a loving man as my husband. I was wanted. I was loved. It was a life I'd never had, but one I had secretly craved. In the past, I would often bully myself for thinking about such things, but just this once I allowed myself to cultivate the idea.

I looked up to the sun peeking through the silvery clouds with yearning. Was there someone out there looking at the same sun as I was? To be linked to someone so deeply... like destiny.

I laughed suddenly. Wow, now that is wishful thinking, Freya. Perhaps my dreams were going a bit too far now. In fact, once I cleared my mind a little, I realised they sounded ridiculous and romantic. Which wasn't like me at all. I was a child of fire and ice. A survivor. Not a woman of beauty or charm.

Yet, not once did I look away from that bright and vastly open sky. Beyond the clouds I could see a handful of silvery planets.

I allowed myself to wish. I wanted that special person, that one being who would stand by my side in all things in life. That one person who would face the world with me. Side by side. Always.

I didn't want to be alone anymore.

Were they out there? Looking for me too?...

"Come," I whispered aloud, for all the stars and worlds to see. "Come and find me. I'm here."

A star shot across the sky, bright and dazzling like a searing flame.

I allowed my eyes to close, but they flew open again when I heard something strange. A terrible booming sound that shook the very trees around me. The star I saw was in fact not a star. It broke off into separate streaks before flying towards the planets overhead, impacting with them. The globes collapsed under the power and strain of its force, exploding into balls of fire and dust.

Cold fear slammed into my chest. Reality washed over me like a wave of icy water. I could hear people screaming nearby. Panic shimmering through the atmosphere like a tangible force.

I spun on my heels and made a mad dash back to the falcon. As I was approaching the ramp, Chewie came rushing down towards me, his eyes wild and wide with terror.

"What is going on? What was that thing?" I grabbed his arms, struggling to understand his loud calls. "What is happening?"

Had I seen right? Had I really just seen neighbouring planets get blown into oblivion? People, species and places. Gone. Dead. With no mercy or chance of defending themselves.

Chewie's comm buzzed into life. Though muffled, I could hear Han solo's panicked voice stream across the device.

_...Republic... under attack... Rey... with you?..._

I shot forward and snatched it from Chewie and held it close to me.

"What was that?" I demanded, stark fear slamming like a punch into my gut. "What's going on? What was that about Rey?"

"She's not here," came Han's crackled response. "She ran off... we can't find her... went into the forest."

I stopped listening at that point. I stared into the endless forest that surrounded us. Rey was in there somewhere, lost, alone and possibly in danger. There was no knowing where she was in there. She could be anywhere. But I knew I had to do something, I had to find her.

Ignoring Han's voice, I threw down the device and began to sprint towards the forest.

_I'm coming Rey..._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

-o-o-o-

" When we first met, I had no idea you would be so important to me..."

-o-o-

Fire streaked through my veins, pushing me further through the mass of trees. Branches snapped under my boots as I moved. Mist drifted across the wind, clouding my vision. My eyes scanned around, seeking out any movement. Any sign of Rey.

"Rey!?" I called out, though I knew it was stupid. My voice was surely going to lure any potential danger to me. But I had to try and locate her. The forest was so dense and large; she could be anywhere. Fear urged me to return to the ship, to seek safety with the others, yet I refused to turn away.

I paused, leaning against a trunk and breathed heavily, willing the stitch in my side to ease. My legs ached. I needed energy. I was so tired, it felt like I'd been running around for hours.

The panicked screams of others nearby forced me to keep going. Laser blasts and gunfire shook the ground and lighted up the sky with explosive flames. Strange black and silver ships sailed down from the skies. All I could do was stare up at them with dread.

The enemy. The First Order. They were here.

I had to find Rey, and quickly. I had to return back to the Falcon and warn the others. How did they manage to find us?

I picked up my feet and began dodging through the foliage again.

"Rey!?" I called again, my voice cracking, raw with emotion.

And then I heard it... A shot reverberated throughout the atmosphere, echoing straight to my ears. There was another, and then another. It sounded like a blaster, eerily familiar. There was a heavy scuffling, followed by the panting cries of a woman.

"Rey!"

I lurched forward without thought, my hands flying to my belt for my twin blades.

They were closer than I had expected. I could see them not far away. Rey and a cloaked stranger towered beside her. A bright red beam surging in the form of a lightsaber.

"No!" The roar the rose from my throat was animalistic.

The massive shadow leaning over Rey shifted its head, the black helmet turning slowly towards my direction. Two white-clad stormtroopers guarded them, their backs facing towards me. All logic left me and I ran at them with all my might, hungry for combat. To protect Rey.

The troopers spun, hearing my movements, but it was too late. By the time they rotated towards me, I was already upon them. I swung out a leg, knocking the blaster from one of the trooper's hands. My blades found a weak spot, cutting one of them deeply across the groove of their groin. I wheeled just as the other approached me from behind. I ducked away from their attack and sliced a blade behind their knee, using all my strength to knock their heavy weight to the ground. The trooper screamed in agony.

I turned back to the remaining trooper standing.

The trooper shuffled as though hesitant. I crouched low, knives ready, bending my knees ready to spring up for an attack. My eyes watched their every move, their every breath. Observant and steady like a prowling beast on the hunt.

I wasn't going down without a fight. I would not surrender. I made that clear to them with a simple beckoning gesture of my hand.

With no weapon and little else to do, the trooper finally charged at me. I swept to the side at the last moment and threw a leg out, my boot smashing into my attackers back. It had little effect against their armour, but it was enough to knock them to their knees. Enough space and time for me to spin towards Rey and the hooded stranger.

My hand moved, fast, lashing out with precision and speed. The blade in my grasp crackled, thrumming with the electric charge it carried. I aimed it for the stranger's neck; a killing strike. It flew from my fingers, heading straight for its mark and I held my breath with anticipation.

But it did not reach its destination...

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. One moment I was confident, my aim sure and true. My weapon was barely a short distance away from hitting its target. As though frozen in time the knife stopped, hovering in mid-flight across the space between us.

I gasped aloud, my eyes widened.

The cloaked figure stood tall. His long arm stretched out and black gloved fingers clawed as though intended to catch the blade in his grasp.

No, not catch it...

The knife shook in the air, as though fighting against nature and the laws of momentum. The hooded man casually turned his hand and slowly the blade floated towards it, resting upon his upturned gloved palm as though in peaceful offering.

No... I shook my head. Impossible, it couldn't be. My mind whirled with all the stories, all the myths and legends of the Jedi. Tales of powerful individuals using the force to control things, to command minds and the elements. But the person before me was no Jedi. Cloaked in all black, the person was definitely male. He stood tall and unmoving like the trees that surrounded him. The mask upon his face covered all his face and head. It was a dark as the clothing that he wore, scarred with the odd dent in the metal.

Imperfect, but dangerously frightening.

No, he wasn't a Jedi; I realised with fear shivering across my spine. He was with the First Order, he'd come with them to find us. He was force-sensitive and so had to be one of the warriors of the dark side.

He was watching me. Even though he wore the mask, I could feel his eyes burning me. Ever observant and calculating in its silence.

I felt trapped. I had only one knife left in my hand, which I knew now to be useless against him. The fallen trooper behind me rose and approached me from behind, closing in steadily. I could hear footsteps nearby, more of them were approaching. Rey stood frozen, immobilized by restraints that none of us could see.

I was out of ideas. My breathing was heavy from exertion. I looked to the skies, my eyes skimming around the trees nearby with hope. Hope that maybe Finn or Han Solo would come flying from the dimness to help us. But they did not come. No one came. I gripped my weapon harder and faced my masked enemy with a stare that could have made any sane male shit his pants.

"Don't touch her asshole," I grit out, stepping towards him in threat.

I had no idea where I was going with this. It was complete improvisation on my part. I had no plan of action, no way of escaping. All I could do was distract. Talk. Bide us some time until someone would hopefully come for us.

"You must be the thief," the muffled voice that came from behind the mask was low, almost quiet in its ferocity. " Have you come to save your friend?" He said the last word like it was something disgusting and worthless.

Despite the calm and toneless quality of his voice, I knew he was mocking me.

" F..Freya," Rey gasped, struggling against the powers that bound her. "Don't." Her light eyes begged me, wide with terror. "R..Run."

I shook my head slowly at her, "I won't leave you."

"He's... too... powerful."

Someone grabbed me from behind. The trooper. Fury and helplessness made me reach back, grabbing the thick wrist. I latched on tightly and spun, twisting the arm with the intent of snapping it. The trooper was too strong and male, but I did manage to dislodge the contact. My arm whipped back, ready to bring down my last remaining knife down upon his neck with a vengeance.

Something engulfed my body, like ice and fire all at once. My limbs seemed to lose all control of themselves, stiffening and tightening. My arms would not move and my feet seemed buried deep into the ground like the roots of an ancient tree. An invisible vice squeezed around my hand so painfully that I gave a squeal and the knife fell from my fingers to the floor.

I looked to the cause of my distress... The black masked man.

"Coward." I spat at him.

He tsked, like one would to a petulant, naughty child. "Foolish girl. Your courage and bravery will be the end of you."

I smiled cruelly at him, "and your arrogance and tyranny will be yours."

A blaster blazed into the life beside my head, the tip of the gun aimed at the side of my temple.

"Time to die.." The voice behind the trooper's white mask was clear, full of intent. "Rebellion scum!"

I flinched but refused to close my eyes. This was it, I was going to die, but I refused to die in cowering shame. If this was going to be my end it would be with pride and unwavering strength. I would not bow to them – the First Order. I would not surrender to them. Ever.

The blast never came... Silence filled the void between our little gathering. The trooper stood frozen in position with his head angled towards the masked man, who was now holding up a black gloved hand.

"Sir?"

I clenched my jaw and jutted my chin stubbornly. I would not give him the fear that he wanted.

His long inky cloak trailed across the dead leaves as he moved closer. My inner fire wavered when he paused merely inches away from my frame. My neck had to crane back to keep sight of his helmeted face. The silver trim around where his eyes were reflected my own image back to me. I saw myself, untamed and feral. My eyes wide and my short hair wild and messy.

"You have strength." The mask tilted down towards me, searching. Knowing. "But no one is coming to save you."

"Fuck you!" I hissed.

He lifted a gloved hand and it paused to hover before my face. I looked at it with confusion, but then began to feel myself move. My body began to lift, my feet losing contact with the ground.

"Defiant until the end, I see," came his silken reply.

"If you're going to kill me, get on with it," I gasped, panting as I struggled against his invisible hold. "I'm not afraid. Not of you, the Order... or dying."

"Oh, but you are." The hooded man rotated his head towards Rey, who was watching our interaction with much fear. She shook her own head, her eyes pleading.

My captor shifted his focus back to me. "You're afraid for your comrades..."

His hand lurched closer to my face and I suddenly felt an immense crushing pain sear its way across my head. I screamed, thrashing in mid-air against the onslaught of pain and agony.

"I can see it." The words were uttered so quietly. Deadly.

A torturous torrent of fire slithered around my mind like a venomous snake. Invading. Raping me of my most precious thoughts and feelings.

"N...no." I whimpered.

Images flashed before my eyes. Familiar and haunting. Scene after scene, memory after memory my captor ripped them from my mind and saw them all. Memories of childhood and things I longed to forget.

Growing up alone. My father. Jakku. My first theft. Being attacked by mobs. Long nights alone on the streets. Meeting Rey. Finn. Han Solo. Chewie.

One single scene slowed and hovered, drawing the attention of my assailant. One that made my stomach tighten with an unnameable emotion.

I saw myself standing there. At the edge of the forest, looking up towards the sky with longing. My own voice echoed, whispering to me...

_"I'm here... come and find me."_

"No!" I fought even harder against him, desperate to be free. They were my memories. My dreams. My thoughts. He had no right to them!

Sweat dripped down my nape and yet I shook as though I was freezing cold. My chin wobbled, my eyes burned with tears I thought I no longer could shed.

"Interesting." it was hummed behind the mask that was now inches away from me.

"Sir," I heard someone speak from beside us, but could not find the energy to turn my head to look. "Resistance fighters. We need more troops."

That haunting black mask paused, but never once moved away from me. I stared at it, memorising it for all time. I would never forget it for as long as I lived. I wanted to see my enemy's face. I wanted to see what he looked like, what his expression was saying. I wanted to know his thoughts, his plans. But, it was like observing at a stone wall. I could understand nothing of his intent.

"Pull the division out," came the muffled rasp, as he began to turn towards Rey. "Forget the droid. We have what we need."

He took a steady step towards her and I renewed my struggles with a vengeance. I kicked and wriggled in the air, screaming. "Leave her alone! Don't fucking touch h-"

I barely had time to finish my stream insults. Something heavy smashed into the back of my skull and my body began to fall. The world span. I saw the brightness of the sky for a brief moment before darkness descended.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

-o-o-o-

_" Even against all odds and all logic... we still hope."_

-o-o-

I was dreaming. Trapped in that light place between wake and sleep. Not quite a memory, but yet not quite an hallucination of the mind. The world around me was a blur, details only become known to me when I focussed on them. The rest was like a soup of fog and mystery. I felt no pain and no sensations. There was no wind, no heat or coldness. Just me and the visions that played out before my eyes.

I was there again. A moment in the past that I wished to never revisit again. Everything was as I remembered it, it was all the same. The same dirty barren hut that I'd once called a home. The same childlike fear that made me want to hide. The same drunken brute of the man who had once been my own flesh and blood.

_"Father, please. I won't do it again, I swear," I pleaded. I recognised my own voice, but it was different, an echo of my younger self, filled with youth and innocence._

_The man that advanced from the shadows was as I remembered him. Huge and broad, carrying a strength about him that was intimidating to any tiny child. With clenched fists, he loomed over my knelt form, breathing harshly. The fury in his eyes burned me. Lucid with hatred._

_For me..._

_There were no words needed from him. There was no escaping the fate I knew which was coming. He grabbed at the clothing that covered my skinny shape and pulled. With ease, he began to drag me towards the corner of the room, where a small cupboard sat hidden below the staircase. The coal hatch. Its door was small, barely large enough to get a dog inside._

_"No, father! Please, no!" I struggled like a wild animal, kicking and biting at him to have mercy on me. Tears burned a scalding path down my dirty cheeks._

_I did not stand a chance against his brawn. He pushed me into the small opening. The lack of light inside sent me into a blind panic. Soot and dust choked my airways as I cried. The space was so narrow, I could barely move. The walls seemed to close in around me and my throat began to close up with it in fear._

_"No!" I lashed out with my foot to try and prevent the door from closing, but it was no use. The last I saw before the blackness engulfed me was my fathers sneering face._

My eyes flashed open. My lids were sluggish and heavy as though weighted down. Blinding light burned my retinas as I blinked up at the ceiling. I took a second to gather my senses, breathing deeply.

My head lolled to the side and I became aware of the room around me. I was in a cell of sorts. It was a circular shape. Its walls were like molten liquid, rippling a soft golden hue. An energy shield. I rose to my feet and glanced around the area. The room was spacious but rather empty, save for the occasional cell that lined one side of it. In front of me was a large set of sliding doors. Guarding them were two armed stormtroopers garbed in their familiar white armour.

Events of what happened in the forest flew across my mind. Of the attack from the First Order. Rey. The masked man in black. It slowly began to sink in and with it my predicament.

I'd been taken hostage.

I paced within my prison like a caged beast. Whenever I moved too close to the edge of the cell its energy would prickle at my skin. I could feel its heady thrum; an unspoken warning that it would be wise not to touch it.

"Where am I?" I called to one of the troopers, who gave no response. I sighed and rubbed my face in frustration. "Are you deaf? Where is your leader? I want to see them."

The doors behind them swung open with a loud whoosh. On the other side stood a man. He was human, lanky in frame and wore a dark-suited uniform. His hair was like pale straw and slicked over in a military fashion.

His icy blue eyes found me and within them I saw cruelty and malice. I instantly knew he was an asshole. There was a hungry, starved look about him. There was no sign of kindness or joy in him anywhere.

He strode into the room and paused before my cell, looking me over. His eyes trailed down my form, from my booted feet, up to my face and back again. He grimaced with what I could only describe as disgust. I felt a sense of violation, dirtied by his perusal. Like I was a thing, not a human being.

I glared at him in return and rotated on the spot, holding my arms out. "What's wrong? Have you never seen a woman before?"

The man slid his arms behind his back, squaring his shoulders. Clearly he was someone of great importance; of high power and influence.

He gave me a derisive sneer.

"So, you are the one who attacked my men?" He shook his head in mockery. "You're nothing but a child."

"Why don't you step into my office?" I beckoned to him, goading him, "I'll make you cry like one."

His hawk-like nose twitched and his nostrils flared. It was obvious that he didn't appreciate me talking back to him. He was a man who favoured obedience and submission.

"I'll have you beaten for your insolence," he retorted with the confidence of a snake.

"Fuck you." I countered.

The two troopers behind him lurched forward, blasters at the ready and pointed at me. He gave a mirthless laugh, "Do you not know who I am?"

I gave him a brief look-over with disinterest. I couldn't have given a tiny rats ass who he was. To me he was nothing more than a captor.

"I am General Hux," he began, straightening his back with pride, "General and High Commanding officer to the First Order and Supreme Leader Snoke."

An awkward silence followed.

I lifted a brow up at him, "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I suppose to know who that is?"

General Hux smiled, though there was nothing pleasant or warm about it. "You will do, in due course."

"What do you want from me?" I asked with a roll of my eyes, bored with the frivolities. "Where am I?"

Hux threw out his long arms as though in welcome, "Why, my dear, you are at the First Order's headquarters. The Starkiller." Something akin to fear must have shown across my face, for his own expression grew sly. Calculating.

"I won't tell you anything." I declared, quietly but surely.

"Oh, but you shall," General Hux purred coldly, "And once we get the information we need, you won't be necessary anymore. You and your scavenger friend will die."

That had my attention instantly. I shot forward a step and stared hard at his annoying smirking features.

"Where is she? Where's Rey?" I growled at him, "What have you done to her?!"

"She's alive and well," he replied slyly, "for now."

"I swear," I leaned closer, a whisper of a threat upon my tongue. "If you touch her, I will personally smash your face in so hard you'll be shitting your teeth out."

Hux lifted a pale brow and shook his head at me. His eyes were intense upon my face, something unpleasant crept across their brightness, making me shudder in revulsion.

"I will enjoy teaching you the errors of your ways... Count on it."

I fell silent. The threat behind his words held a promise. Not just of violence, but of something more sinister. I could feel it in the way the atmosphere crackled unpleasantly, humming with a charge that made me extremely uncomfortable.

"I have a feeling we'll be seeing each other often." He smiled at me, his thin lips tilting in a way that made my confidence diminish. With nothing else to say he turned away and began to walk out of the door.

I watched him go. A mixture of helplessness and dread settled in my belly. Now that I knew my location it gave me no comfort. Rey was here somewhere, trapped in this hell with me. I had no idea if she was safe or even alive.

I cast a glance at the two troopers standing post by the door. They paid me no attention, which I was glad for. I wandered around my cell. There were no windows and no other entrances to get in or out of the room. There was no chance of escape, not without getting my ass singed by the energy shield surrounding me.

A single sobering thought hit me. If we stayed here, inevitably, we were going to die. Once the Order had what they needed, they would dispose of us.

I sighed and silently prayed that someone would come for us. Han Solo. Finn.

Anyone...

A motion from the corner of the room caught my attention. A shadow lurked within the darkness, lingering and reticent. It moved, stretching out into a long black form with wide shoulders.

"Who's there?" I called out to them, "Show yourself."

There was a pause. A moment of hesitation before the person glided forward into the light. My eyes drifted over that familiar black mask. The midnight cloak that trailed against a set of darker boots.

It was him. The masked man from the forest.

Though I could not see his eyes, I could feel the intensity of his stare. Eerily observant. Had he been here the entire time? Had he been an audience to my exchange with General Hux just now? Worse still... Had he been there even when I was laid upon the floor unconscious? Vulnerable and defenseless.

"You." I stated, turning my body to fully face him. "Who are you?...Where is Rey?"

He offered me no reply. Instead, he waited there quietly, like a spectre in a graveyard. I couldn't even hear his breathing or see the motions of his chest as he inhaled. It was unnerving.

He made me uneasy, I realised. My eyes kept dropping from him, nervously. I swallowed a lump in my throat. I thought back to our meeting in the forest and of the immense power he'd shown.

I hesitated and then finally found my voice to speak. "Have you come to interrogate me?" I asked.

I searched my brain, trying to think of something to say, trying to think of a plan of action. I was at the Order's mercy and had been taken for a reason. I had to try and use that reason against them. It's what had kept us alive, thus far.

"You want to know about the map? Let's bargain." I nodded to him, stepping to within inches of the cell barrier. "I'll tell you what you want to know. But..." I began slowly, finding the courage to lift my head and stare at the place where his eyes would be. "If you hurt Rey, you will get nothing fro-"

"You don't know anything about the map," came his muffled voice from behind the mask. Sure and oddly soft. Deadly.

My mouth fell open, stunned. How did he know that? It was true. Though I was aware of the existence of the map, I had not personally seen it. I knew nothing about the missing Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. Or his location. Declaring that I had was my last playing card to deal. Yet the masked stranger before me had called my bluff.

But how had he known?

Then it clicked. He could read thoughts and memories, of course he would know! How could I have been so stupid!

"If you already knew that then why are you here?" I said, shuffling my position slightly to try and hide my anxiety. "What do you want from me?"

His powerful fingers lifted and tugged at the leather of his glove in a lazy manner. It was such a small movement, graceful and innocent. I couldn't look away from them. They were beautiful hands, strong and yet capable of many things. Evil things.

I took a step back in caution and he seemed to notice it.

"You're afraid." It wasn't a question. More like a statement. A fact declared. His tone never changed, but there was something within it that made me feel like a mouse standing before a lion.

"No." I bit out through clenched teeth. "I do not fear cowards."

"You feared your father."

_What the f..._

Ice and fire flashed down my spine. My eyes widened, blazing with fury. I shot forward, wishing with all my might that I could reach across the space between us and claw at him.

"How dare you mention my father!" I shouted. "You know nothing about me. You have no right to know those things, it's none of your business. So stay out of my head!"

A muffled chuckle came from him, barely heard, but there nonetheless. "Did I touch a nerve?"

I spun away from him, hating the fact he was knocking a chink in my armour of resolve. I was shaking and I could feel my shoulders tightening like a bowstring. He was baiting me. Playing mind games. Trying to break my spirit down and use my weaknesses as his tool.

I hated him with every fibre of my being.

My own heavy breathing surrounded me. I could feel his eyes upon my back. I refused to face him. I was done with this conversation, with him and the First Order. I would give them nothing.

I heard him move away, striding towards the doors. They slid open and he was almost passing across the threshold when I began to speak...

"You're going to fail," I whispered. A taunt. A promise.

"Am I?"

"Yes." I nodded, feeling surer than ever. Confidence gave my voice flight across the room to him. "People like you always fail."

He said nothing. He left without saying a single word. The oppressive heaviness of the atmosphere dissipated into an eerie silence. I was left alone once again with my fears, my thoughts, and my determination.

After all that happened since leaving Jakku, I had to have courage. I would survive this. I vowed it.

_They would not win..._


	6. Chapter 6

__

You can't run, run, run,  
From a smoking gun,  
Caught in the crossfires,  
Of the things we’ve done,  
– When the truth hunts you down (Sam Tinnesz)

I needed them to disable the barrier and release me from my cell. For what seemed like hours I considered ways I was going to achieve that goal. Every option or idea that I came up with just sounded dumb or ridiculous. Try and bargain with one of the trooper guards and hope they’ll help me? Nope. Lure them in with a striptease? Double nope. I kept going over scenarios in my head, trying to imagine Han Solo here with me. What would he do? He was always good at getting out of sticky situations.

I couldn’t just sit here and wait for an event to happen. I had to be proactive. Think, Freya. I needed to draw them in and get them to deactivate the cell. But it had to be believable. It had to be something to warrant their attention. 

From my sat position at the center of the cell, I turned my head towards the small plate of food that had been given to me earlier. It was nothing special; a canteen of water and some kind of greyish gruel. Not exactly appetising but it was a positive sign that they weren’t planning on allowing me to die, just yet. 

I pulled myself up and walked over towards it. “Is this all I’m getting?” I asked the two troopers nearby. Their white helmets turned to one another, before swinging back to me without a sound. “It's not exactly a luxurious three course meal, is it?”

One them shifted, swinging their shoulders to face me. “You'll get what you're given and like it, Scum.”

I picked up the plate and gave the contents a tentative sniff. I lifted a brow suspiciously at them. “How do I know it's not poisoned?”

They shared a deep guttural laugh with one another and shrugged. “Eat or starve,” the one on the left said. “Like we care.”

“Fair enough,” I agreed and took a huge spoonful of the lumpy porridge, shoving it into my mouth. I chewed it quickly, trying not to gag on the salty paste like consistency. It was absolutely disgusting, but it would be enough to serve its purpose.

“I mean, it's not likely to be poisoned, right?” I chatted lightly to them as though we were best buddies, “your leader need me alive for the time being. It wouldn't be in their interests to kill me off yet.” I gave a snort of laughter and ate another mouthful. “Could you imagine how angry they'd be with you, if something were to happen to me? You two would be screwed, royally. They'd be so mad...” 

I paused mid-cackle. A cough wracked its way across my frame and I thumped a fist against my chest to clear my airways. 

“Holy shit,” I pulled a grimace and wheezed loudly, “What's in this? It tastes like something crawled in it and died.”

I continued to gasp, the barking sound growing in intensity until my hand rose up to my throat in panic. My eyes bulged. I clawed at the collar of my jerkin, coughing wildly. Choking. 

I fell to my knees with a thud and looked to the troopers watching nearby. “W...What...” I gasped, I could feel my face growing red. “W..what have... you done to me?”

“Enough with the games,” the tallest trooper straightened and stepped closer, trying to intimidate. 

I allowed my body to slump down upon the floor, my face pressing against the cool tiles. My limbs kicked out, thrashing. Gurgling noises bubbled up in my throat. A line of saliva dribbling down my chin. 

“What is she doing?” I heard one of my captors speak. 

“H...elp!” I gasped. 

I grew immobile, stilling like a statue upon the ground. I held my breath... and waited. 

“Get a medic!”

Footsteps approached swiftly. I heard the energy shield surge and then fade away with a sharp beep. 

I smiled to myself... This was too easy. 

One of the guards disappeared, leaving the room for medical assistance. Which left me with one remaining trooper to deal with. 

The moment he reached my side, I sprung into action. I swept my leg out hard, ramming it against the weak spot on his right knee. The sudden shift in his balance caused him to teeter over and fall to a kneel beside me. With swift motions, I pulled him down and wrapped my thighs around his neck. I squeezed as hard as I could, panting heavily. His helmet hindered me, but my limbs were slender enough to fit in the sweet spot around his unprotected throat. We grappled upon the floor, fighting against one another. His fists beat at me in a blind panic, his strength impressive against my smaller one. But I was like a snake, refusing to release him, restricting his airways tightly with all the energy I could muster. 

It didn't take long. I felt his body slump, falling to a heap next to me. Unmoving and unconscious. With a huge exhale of exertion, I let him go and took notice of the lack of shield around my cell. 

It was now or never. I had to move quickly, before more of the enemy arrived. I had to find Rey and find a way off this base; without being seen. It was a mad plan, bound to fail, but I had to try. 

I grabbed the troopers fallen blaster and ran for the door. I peered around its arched frame to assess the hallway beyond. It was empty, but I could hear voices not far away speaking to one another. 

My heart raced, practically engraving itself against the inside of my ribcage. My hands shook with the rush of adrenaline surging through my body. I even held my breath for fear of someone hearing it.

Hunkering low, I crept down the corridor. I peered into all of the open rooms, hoping to find Rey, but there was no sign of her anywhere. I took a left, and then a right, but then hastily retreated back around the corner again when I saw a trio of uniformed officers walking down towards me. 

I took a sharp left instead. I tried to approach some of the doors, hoping they might open automatically, but to no avail. Only one stood open; a single room situated at the end of the corridor. 

The voices grew louder, so I took it as my only option. I launched myself into the chamber and barely dived out of sight when I caught a glimpse of the figures wandering past. Completely oblivious of my presence. 

I lingered until they faded away from sight. I sighed, long and deep, in relief. Unease battled against my courage. I wanted to stay bunkered down beside the counter that was my hiding place, but I knew I could not hide forever. 

“Come on, Freya,” I urged to myself, my voice barely a whisper. “You can do this.” 

Gripping the blaster harder, I began to stride for the exit. Rey had to be in one of these rooms somewhere. I had to keep looking. 

I made it within a few feet of the door when it suddenly slid shut, preventing me from stepping through it. 

_What the..._

I moved closer, hoping to activate it into the opening. When nothing happened I pressed at random sections on the keypad. But again, nothing happened. 

“Come on, you piece of shit!” I slammed a fist against it in frustration. “Open!”

I paused. My unease evolved into an unsettling sense of foreboding. Something wasn't right. I could sense a heaviness in the atmosphere. Stifling and oppressive. 

It was then that I felt eyes on me from behind, burning into my back. Slowly I turned to finally realise I was no longer alone. 

The person that met my gaze took me by surprise. I didn't recognise the male that stood before me, but he was tall, slender... and topless. I coughed awkwardly and shuffled my feet, trying to look elsewhere, but at the smooth planes of his chest. He wore black boots and breeches. A pair of leather gloves sat tight upon his long-fingered hands. What had my attention the most, however, was his face. 

He was beautiful. 

Not in the Grecian, adonis way. No... His features were flawed, imperfect. His lips were full, almost pouting. His nose was long, hawk-like, giving him the impression of a predator or nobility. Thick brows sat angled above his dark onyx coloured eyes. His chin was narrow but prominent, giving him the appearance of a petulant sulky child. Inky long hair drifted around his ears, contrasting harshly with his pale complexion. He stood there half dressed, and upon the nearby bed was the rest of his clothes. 

I was staring, I couldn't help myself. I felt foolish gawking, but I couldn't make myself look away. 

He scrutinized me just as intensely, his gaze wandering over me. He seemed neither surprised nor angry with the fact I had barged in on his privacy. Nor did he reach for me, despite the fact I was an escaped prisoner loose on the ship. His expression was guarded, I struggled to read what his thoughts or intentions were. His face was a mask. Empty. Mysteriously void of emotion. 

For a moment we just stood there staring at one another. Neither of us blinking. 

“You,” his voice, low and soft, rumbled its way across the space to me. It was pleasant sounding, deep and eloquent. 

_And eerily familiar..._

You? I blinked at him. Did he know me from somewhere? I don't recall ever seeing him before, but he seemed to remember me. 

“Who are you?” I whispered, frowning at him. 

He said nothing. Instead, he began to reach for something on the bed and I swiftly lifted my blaster up to him. 

“Don't.” I warned him gently. “I'm not here to fight with you.” I began, taking a slow step towards him. “I'm looking for a woman, her name is Rey. She's being held here, and I need to know where.” 

He made no further movement, nor did he speak. Silence shielded him like a fortress. 

I began to grow frustrated. “No one will know you helped me. I swear it,” I pleaded to him and lowered the blaster, showing him my sincerity. I was drowning in his eyes, becoming lost in how dark they were. Bottomless, never-ending darkness.

“Please.” I wasn't one to beg but I needed this stranger more than he realised. “Help me. I need...”

My words trailed off as something caught my attention; an object lying upon the bed nearby. Large and spherical in shape. Dark in colour with streaks of silvers across its front. A single plate of metal representing that of a mouthpiece, like that which is found on a helmet. A mask...

Fear ran down my back like a trickle of icy water, settling in my belly. Disbelief caused my limbs to slacken and my legs to grow unsteady. 

No, it couldn't be...

I lifted my focus back to him and noticed the way his own attention drifted to the mask and then back to me. His chin lifted, a wordless confirmation of my thoughts. 

It was him. The masked man from the forest, the one who had taken me hostage. 

Panic forced me to shoot away from him. I didn't want to be in the same room as this man. I didn't want to be anywhere near him. I had to run, to get away. 

His lips parted as though he was about to say something, but was cut off by the door shooting open noisily behind me. 

“ Kylo Ren, the supreme leader wishes to speak to you. He requests that you-”

I whirled on the owner of that voice and our new visitor froze instantly when he saw me. 

General Hux. 

_Oh shit..._

“You!” he snarled, his red head almost matching the brightness of his angry face. “Guards! Seize her!”

He gave me no option, no time to consider what to do or what plan of action to take. I heard heavy footsteps running towards us from down the corridor. 

I leaped forward and swung my arm back, smashing the blunt end of my blaster against Hux's nose. I heard it crack. He staggered and wailed loudly. I threw up a knee, winding him with an attack to his midriff. I flew behind him and with my free hand squeezed at the delicate tendons of his nape. He was much taller and stronger than me, but he stilled under my hold when I pressed the end of my blaster against the back of his skull. 

“If you have any sense, you will do as I say,” I panted. My fingers digging against a pressure point, causing the lanky male under my hold to give a squeal of pain. 

“How dare you!” he floundered, bending his knees to try and ease the pressure of my grip. “You will regret this! Mark my words! I will make you pay for this, you stupid little gir-aah!”

I cut him off with another sharp press of my hand. His veins bulged across his temples. His face growing brighter with each passing minute; whether from pain or embarrassment, I wasn't so sure. 

“Where is she?” I shook him as hard as I could, shoving the gun further against his head. “Tell me where Rey is!”

The dark-haired stranger remained unmoved from his spot by the bed. Watching. Neither rushing to save his comrade, nor reaching for a weapon. In fact, he seemed strangely calm. His eyes glued to me. 

Kylo Ren, Hux had called him. My mind whirled at that with chaotic thoughts. I'd heard stories about him. Tales of his cruel deeds and cold-blooded acts of malice against innocent people. Things had just turned from bad to worse with a single brief meeting. Death was standing right before me in the form of a handsome man. 

I had to get out of here.

I yanked hard on Hux, dragging him back with me into the hallway. A group of stormtroopers approached from my left. Four of them. They drew their weapons, but hesitated, reluctant to attack when their leader was being used as a human shield. 

“Get back,” I growled to them, “Get back! Or I swear, I will splatter his brains all over these walls.”

“Stay away, you idiots!” The General barked. I could feel his rapid pulse beneath my fingertips. I could sense his fear. 

It was no use. I couldn't hold him captive forever. He was being placated only by my hand and his own irrational fear of dying. And although I was a fighter, I was no killer. 

I did the only thing I could think of. With all my might I shoved the General towards the group of troopers and fired a blast against a nearby wall, sending sparks and flames all around us. 

I took the moment of distraction to run. I fled as though the devil himself chased me. My lungs burned, the world around me blurred as I sprinted down the corridors. I took a left, then a right, and then another right. 

An elevator stood open a short distance away and I picked up my speed towards it. I had just managed to get inside when I saw the small group that followed behind me. The troopers. An angry Hux. And Kylo Ren...

I slammed a hand against the buttons and the doors began to slowly close, cutting them off from me, and I from them. A barrier between us. Security. Safety. A chance of escape. 

Or so I thought... 

The elevator didn't move. I waited for it to jolt with movement, to head downwards, but it never happened. Seconds ticked by with frightening slowness. I stepped back and pressed my back against the glass. The feeling of security died and instead an ominous sense of imprisonment swept over me. 

A sound reached my ears, like metal grinding upon metal. The elevator shuddered. Fear choked me, strangling me of my logic. The doors creaked and slowly began to open. 

I lifted my blaster in time to see Kylo Ren waiting on the other side, his arm stretched. His fingers clawed, flexing with barely constrained power. 

His midnight eyes found me. My finger hesitated on the trigger. 

_Too late..._

The blaster was wrenched from my grip by an unseen force, flying across the space to Kylo Ren. 

I lifted my chin at him, even though every inch of my body trembled. He saw it. He saw everything. Every flash of emotion that passed across my face. Every droplet of sweat that rolled down my skin. I bet he could even smell the fear I had of him. 

He lowered his arms and prowled closer, stepping into the elevator with me. My neck craned back, his height towering over me with ease.

“That was a foolish thing to do,” his voice, deadly and soft, was like a slap to my pride. 

I glared at him, biting back a retort. 

He gestured towards the corridor. A simple movement of command that demanded to be obeyed. "Walk."

I remained still, refusing to move. My stubbornness knew no bounds, it seemed. 

“Walk,” he spoke again, his tone lowering slightly in warning, “Or I will make you.”

I grounded myself, ready to fight him, ready to face his wrath. I didn't want to go back to my cell. After all the struggle and hassle I'd gone through to get this far. I couldn't bring myself to surrender to him so easily. 

Our eyes melded together, trapped in a silent battle. Somehow his face had moved nearer, hovering inches above my own. The heat of his body reached me, his bare chest so close, within touching distance.

I must have taken too long to acquiesce to his request, because in the next breath I felt myself being lifted from the ground. As though my magic I hovered in midair, drifting like a leaf across a wind. My legs kicked out in panic and I glared at him.

“Put me down,” I growled through my teeth.

He ignored my hostility and lifted a brow. “I gave you a fair warning, but you refused. Now we will have to do things the hard way. My way.” He began to walk out of the elevator and down the corridor. To my horror I was hauled along with him, as though pulled by an invisible string that tied me to him.

I screamed in frustration, “Fuck you! You stupid piece of shit!”

General Hux and the group of stormtroopers observed us from the sidelines. Hux's face clearly showed his pleasure at seeing me in such a humiliating position. 

“Not so clever now, are we?” he sneered. Ginger bastard that he was. 

We approached the familiar room that had been my prison. I stiffened, expecting to be thrown back into my cell with little grace or gentility. But instead I was slowly lowered to my feet within the circular cell. The barriers came up around me, sealing me once again within their embrace. 

I shut my eyes and sighed, my shoulders slumping in defeat. I rotated to face Kylo Ren and gave him my most sarcastic smile possible. “Thanks for the ride, I guess.” 

“Your attempts of escape are futile,” he stated with calmness, straightening his gloves whilst tilting his head to me. “Not only do you risk your own life by trying, but also that of your friends."

I shook my head weakly, my exhaustion showing itself. “I won't give in,” I declared quietly. “Ever.”

“You will,” he answered just as softly. A promise. 

I stared at him. I had nothing else to say to him. I was tired, feeling discouraged and vulnerable. My efforts of escape had been for nothing. Draining and filled with false hope. Every step of it had been stalked and ruined by the mysterious man before me. 

Kylo Ren's eyes bore into me, so dark and magnetic. The lights reflected in them and for a moment I thought I saw something. Something lurking. Alive. But as quickly as I saw it, it was gone again. 

He took a step nearer, pausing near the barrier that separated us. He opened his mouth to speak, but was stalled by a trooper suddenly storming into the room at full speed. The newcomer panted heavily from beneath his white helmet. 

“Sir... the scavenger,” the trooper rasped.

Kylo Ren did not even bother to give the soldier his attention. “Yes, what of her?”

“She's gone, sir,” it came out like a rush from the troopers mouthpiece. Frantic with alarm. “She has been seen escaping with FN-2187, a wookie, and Han solo. They're headed for the thermal oscillator...”

Kylo Ren rotated his head slowly, his shoulders stiffening. His brooding gaze found the trooper and practically shot daggers into him. A metamorphic changed seemed to come over his entire being. All the calm and passivity of his countenance was swept away beneath a wild torrent of anger. His jaw rolled and his lips trembled under the intensity of his growing fury. 

His eyes flashed up to me for a second, practically blistering me with enough heat and fire to set the entire base ablaze. 

I'd never seen anything like it. The transition. The swift change in mood. It was both entrancing and frightening to see. 

“No...” it was like a strangled groan of disbelief from his lips. Ren turned and stormed towards the trooper. “Find them!” he growled. “Do not let them leave this base alive!”

And then he was gone. Without another glance or word in my direction, Kylo Ren thudded from the room, the trooper following obediently behind him. 

I stood there stunned for a moment. My head was all over the place and I struggled to fully understand what was happening. 

Rey was gone. She'd escaped with the others. They'd done it. They'd gotten out and were now leaving the base. They were free. 

Happiness blossomed within my chest, but at the same time another emotion rose up into my throat choking me. Stinging me relentlessly with its reality. 

_Hurt..._

I tried to feel satisfaction for their achievement. I did not want to be selfish and feel betrayed by them. But no matter how much I tried I could not remove the pain of being left behind.

They were gone. They'd come to save Rey... but I was still here. 

I was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to take this moment to thank all of my readers who have supported my story thus far. Your comments, kudos and hits really do encourage me to keep writing. To the silent readers out there, please know that your views and voices count as well! Don't forget to kudos and add a comment - even if it's only a smiley face :-) I write for you guys! So let's keep the story alive and encourage other people to find it.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

-o-o-o-

"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways" - Buddha

-o-o-o-

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. Maybe hours, maybe days, but to me it felt like years. The attack on the Starkiller by the resistance had been a success. During the collapse of the base General Hux had arrived with his troopers to my cell. They'd dragged me from my sanctuary and transferred me to another ship; one belonging to the Supreme Leader Snoke. I'd gone without a struggle, knowing that I had only two options. Go with them or stay on an exploding planet to die – it wasn't a tough decision to make. Since the news of Rey and the others escaping, I found myself struggling to find hope. I was completely at the First Order's mercy. I had to find a way to get out of this mess, alone. Worry and loneliness seemed to be my only companions lately. I had no idea what was going to happen or what I was going to do. It took as much comfort as I could in knowing that Rey had managed to evade recapture.

I tried to see the positive side of things. Now, I could focus on myself, there was no one else to think about or consider. I had to stay strong and I had to be resilient, but it was getting hard. I felt tired, drained from the lack of sleep. I was hungry, barely eating enough to sustain my body's needs. Each hour that I stayed here the more restless I became. Lack of freedom was driving me mad. I wanted to feel the wind against my skin. I wanted to see land or sky, instead of the endless plain walls around me. Hell, even Jakku would have been preferable to this...

The sound of the doors sliding open broke me from my thoughts and I rolled my eyes. I didn't need to look up to know who my visitor was. I was starting to become accustomed to the sound of his boots thudding as he walked around.

I sighed wearily and remained sat crossed legged within the center of my cell.

_Here we go again..._

Emptiness filled the area, heavy and oppressive. I refused to acknowledge his presence. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"Why so silent?" General Hux's voice grated across my senses, like fingernails across a chalkboard.

My jaw tightened, but I didn't open my eyes. My expression never changed and I remained in a peaceful meditative state. " I have nothing to say to you," I responded, with a calmness that surprised even me.

"Oh, but I have plenty to say to you." He drew closer, the fabric of his uniform swaying, filling the room with noise. "Why do you still persist in clinging to your futile hopes?"

I knew what was coming. I waited, trying to bite back the verbal ass-kicking hovering at the edge of my tongue for him.

"Join us."

There it was. The same old rubbish, the same old bullshit that he spouted whenever he came to see me. Each time he asked me the same thing, and each time I told him where he could shove it. He never listened. He kept coming back, trying to push his way into the fortress of my resolve.

As much as it was annoying, I couldn't help but chuckle at him. What an idiot.

"Talent and skill such as yours should not be wasted. I'm sure that we could-"

"No thanks." I snapped sharply, cutting him off mid-sentence.

I heard rather than saw the barrier being lowered. Its heavy power dimmed and then drained away, allowing him entrance into my sanctuary. He neared, prowling around me slowly.

He tsked gently like one would to a naughty child. "Come. What are you fighting for exactly?" His voice drifted around me, surrounded me with its mockery. "Your so-called friends have left you. After all your energy and attempts to help them, they simply up and left, without a single glance back to you."

My fist tightened against the fabric over my knees. My eyelashes flickered, but I forced them to remain shut. "They'll come back," I stated, even though my voice wavered.

He laughed, a cold and derisive noise that made my chest tighten with turmoil. "Are you sure? After all, how much could you mean to them? They could have easily come to save you, but they didn't. They only cared about the scavenger... They have abandoned you."

His words hurt. The truth beat at me, knocking the wind from my lungs in one single blow. I swallowed back the lump in my throat. He was close, far too close to my feelings of betrayal and loneliness.

"I'm glad they got away," I answered, allowing a smile to cross my face, even though I did feel its joy. "They're safe."

"Safe?" Hux sneered, pausing in front of me. I could feel his prying stare upon my face, ever watchful. "No one is safe from the First Order. My goodness, how naive you are."

I opened my eyes slowly and lifted my face up to him. He stood over me in a position of authority, towering over my seated form upon the floor. He wanted to play power games, but I refused to rise to the occasion. I glared at him in an almost bored fashion.

" You don't give up, do you? Preach all you want," I replied blandly. "You can't touch them now, they are far out of your reach. Rey, Finn, Han So-"

"Han Solo is dead."

_What..._

I froze at that and my eyes widened. No. Hux was lying, he had to be. My mouth moved struggling to find the words.

"You're lying," I whispered, my voice faltering.

"Am I?" My tormentor lowered to a crouch in front of me. His pale and almost sickly features twisted in victory as he smirked at me. " We dealt with him appropriately and disposed of him like the scrap of garbage that he is. He met his maker at the end of Kylo Ren's lightsaber..."

My chin began to tremble and I lowered my face away from him. My eyes burned with tears. No, I would not show weakness to him. My shoulders tightened and my knuckles grew white under the strain of my fisted hands. Despite my best efforts, the tears began to fall. I recalled Han Solo's kindness. His outgoing personality and easy going nature. Though I'd only know him a short time, I remembered how he'd been willing to help us. That lopsided smile of his had always made me feel like everything was going to be ok.

_And now he was gone..._

" You see," Hux drawled, his face moving closer to mine. His breath drifted against my hair and long, slender fingers found my chin, lifting my face up to him. "This is what happens when you defy the order. We do not offer clemency or second chances."

I shook my head, at a complete loss for words. I simply sat there, silently wishing that murder wasn't a crime, because at that moment in time I was seriously considering it.

I yanked myself away from him, feeling defiled and dirtied by his touch. His expression darkened at my reaction.

"Although, I am surprised by Kylo Ren. I did not think he had it in him to do it," he continued with malice, "...after all Han Solo was his father."

Too much. It was too much for me to process. A fog descended, shrouding me in a lethargic soup of distress. My blood rushed, filling my ears with noise. I stared unblinkingly, not really seeing the man before me. So many thoughts and emotions were drowning me. Han Solo was dead, murdered by Kylo Ren... who was his son!

" What a sad ending to his pathetic existence," General Hux persisted without missing a beat, almost as though disappointed. "He truly was weak."

I blinked. A tear rolled down my cheek, lonely and as solitary as I was feeling in that moment.

"You're a monster," I breathed.

Hux lifted a pale brow. "Things would be much simpler if you accepted the truth." He held out a hand, beckoning to me gently. He had all the lure and enticement of a snake slithering towards its prey. Seemingly innocent, but preparing for the strike.

"Join us." His voice turned light, almost warm with affection. "Be sensible now and consider this carefully. Death will come to those who oppose us, it is inevitable." He leaned closer, whispering. "I'll even let you in on a little secret. Your precious Rey is not all that she seems to be. She is one of them, one of the wielders of the force. She has much potential and power within her. I am willing to spare her my cruelty. For you..." His fingers caressed my chin. His cold eyes delved into me and I saw nothing within them. "...If you would only serve and obey me in return. Is that so much to ask?"

"You are seriously deluded," I answered with disbelief. How could one man be so arrogant? So hateful and vicious.

"I beg your pardon?" He questioned, clearly displeased.

It wasn't the answer he was wanting, but it was the one he was going to get.

I looked at him, hard and steady. "I won't help you and I will never become like you. I would sooner die."

I saw the lid of one of his eyes flinch, a sign of his barely controlled irritation. "I do not think you-"

"You are a snake." I cut him off swiftly. I wasn't done with him yet. In fact, I was only just warming up. " Look at you, standing there in your neatly pressed uniform. You're nothing more than a toy controlled and manipulated by other people. A pathetic dog howling to the tune of your master's commands." I leaned closer, hovering a few inches from his face. "My answer is no. It will always be no, no matter what you do to me. So you, your order and Snoke can all go and kiss my ass."

His nostrils flared, his face flushing a darker shade. I wasn't sure which had wounded him the most, my insults or rejection. He lifted himself up to stand over me. "Pathetic dog am I?" He shot his head around to the nearby guards and motioned for them to come forward. "Grab her."

The troopers approached from either side, each one grabbing my arms, pulling me upright. I didn't fight them, there was no point. I didn't stand a chance against all of them. I stood there with pride, refusing to back down from Hux's intimidating glower.

"You will regret this," he promised darkly, stepping closer until our chests almost touched. " I will break you in every way possible. And then, I will bring the resistance to its knees and you can watch as I decimate your friends."

I said nothing. I had nothing left to say to him. He knew my wishes and he knew my answer to his demands.

"Bring her."

My feet tripped as they dragged out of my cell. Their harsh fingers on my flesh would no doubt leave a bruise. My spine stiffened with unease. I had no idea where we were going or why, but I had a feeling it was going to be bad. With General Hux leading our little group, we made our way through the endless corridors before stopping at a large set of doors.

Hux punched in the code on the keypad and the entrance opened. I had no time to take in my new surroundings. They hoisted me to the middle of the huge room and pushed me into a kneeling position upon the hard floor. They snapped something heavy around my arms and with a quick startled glance saw metal shackles encasing my wrists. A matching collar soon followed around my neck, tight and constricting. I then noticed the array of connected chains and wires that ran from my now bound form to a set of machines nearby.

Fear rolled through me and I looked with wide eyes to General Hux, who stood nearby watching me closely.

Hux smirked. "Do you know what this is?" He asked.

I shook my head. I had an idea, but I wasn't going to voice it. The machines nearby vibrated and hummed dangerously from beside me.

"This is my playground. It is where I bring criminal, traitor and rebel alike to face their crimes." He prowled around to the nearest unit and ran a hand across its surface with affection, like one would a loyal pet. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this, but you have left me with no other choice."

He pressed something and the machines around me began to surge into life. Blazing light shone down upon me, blinding me. A strange current sparked and found its way down the chains and across my skin – a silent warning of what was to come.

I began to struggle, pulling wildly at my restraints, breathing heavy with the terror that was now flowing like poison through my veins.

Hux hesitated, waiting. The silent question clear in his icy eyes as he lifted a brow up at me.

_Are you sure you don't want to change your mind?_

"Never," I rasped, bracing myself for the inevitable.

"You will learn to be obedient... I guarantee it."

A button clicked and a switch was flicked. I barely had time to think or to breathe as crackling heat soared down the chains, flying with alarming speed straight towards me. I could not back away or escape as a pain unlike anything I had ever felt before engulfed my body. There was no gradual progression into, it hit me with full force like a tidal wave. I fell and began to thrash across the floor in agony. My mind grew unstable, I couldn't think, couldn't see logic. Unable to contain it anymore, I threw my head back and screamed. I couldn't bear it. My vision began to fade.

With little else to do, I fell to the floor in a heap, just as the darkness descended.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**-o-o-o-**

" _Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see"_  - Mark Twain

-o-o-o-

I lay sprawled across the cold ground, my cheek pressed against the cool tiles. My eyelids drooped. Exhaustion kept me drifting between the land of the living and the bliss of unconsciousness. The machines around me were no longer activated. Instead, they sat around me like spectators, reminding me of my predicament. Thankfully, General Hux was nowhere to be seen. Again and again, he would return to try and demand leniency from me. And each time I would refuse, provoking him into feeding me his fury in the form of unbearable pain and agony.

As much as I hated to admit it, I was beginning to waver. My will to fight against him was fading away with my strength. Lack of food and water was making me lethargic. Hope was waning, I could no longer see it or feel it. My sanity teetered on the edge of a blade, uncertain and faltering. If this kept up for much longer I was going to break, or worse, die.

The chains rattled, dragging across the floor as I slid a dirty hand towards my face. I covered my eyes and tried to force back the tears, feeling ashamed of myself.

A vision of my mother flashed through my mind. The of Rey, and then Chewie. I then imagined Han Solo sitting beside me with that ridiculous grin of his, giving me words of encouragement.

_It's gonna be alright, Kid. You've got this._

A sob formed in my throat. It echoed, ringing loudly in my ears. I hated this feeling; the unbearable sadness combined with the hard reality of my fate. I regretted ever leaving Jakku.

A beep sounded and the doors slid open suddenly. Someone was here, but I could not find the strength to move. Instead, I remained unmoving and powerless across the floor.

I gave a frustrated sigh. "Save your breath," I rasped to the figure who now stood behind me. "The answer is still  _no._ "

I flinched as I spoke the words, gaining no pride or satisfaction from them - I knew that pain would soon follow afterwards in retaliation.

I waited for Hux to throw me some kind of derisive insult, but it never came.

"My, my. How the mighty have fallen."

The voice that spoke was not General Hux, as I had assumed. This one was lower. Familiar.

My arms buckled as I tried to push myself up. It was such a simple movement that demanded so much energy, that I did not seem to have. Through the damp locks of my hair I glared up at the darkly clad figure that stood before me.

Kylo Ren...

There was no mask this time. His handsome features were unmoving like stone as he stared down at me. His onyx orbs roamed over me with no warmth or compassion.

There was something different about him. His skin was paler than usual. A thick line of a scar now decorated his face, stretching from the top of his brow all the way down to his chin. A wound, perhaps from fighting against the resistance? Payment for what he'd done to Han Solo? - I sincerely hoped so.

"You," I muttered to him with disgust. "Get away from me. Did  _he_  send you to do his dirty work for him?"

"To whom do you refer to?" Kylo Ren asked in an almost bored fashion. With a graceful motion he clasped his hands behind his back.

I snorted a laugh, "Your beloved ginger general, of course. Who else?"

I rolled my shoulder trying to ease the ache in them. The steel shackles chaffed against my skin, now red and seeping with open sores. I loathed the fact I appeared so helpless before him. I didn't want anyone to see me like this.

"No, he didn't."

I blinked up at him, focussing my blurry vision. If Hux hadn't sent him here, then why was he here? To gloat? To mock? To be honest, I didn't want to know, nor care. I wanted to be alone and left in peace.

"You know why I'm here," Ren's voice held calm authority, yet was strangely soft.

"Actually, I don't. Why don't you enlighten me?" I snapped dryly.

His gloved hand came forward, lifting, and I began to rise with it.

With little effort, my body was brought upwards until my feet rested on the floor. The chains slackened, their weight removed from my limbs, offering relief. White dots flashed across my sight from the change of position.

"Where is she?" he said, the demand clear. Not to be denied.

"Who are you talking about?" I frowned at him, completely confused. Until it clicked. "Rey?"

I shrugged at him. "I don't know where they've gone."

Grim determination caused his lips to draw into a thin line. A pulsating pain began to form in my head and I cried out at its sharp intensity. An oppressive shadow cast itself across my mind. Like a trail of poisonous vines, it wrapped around me, demanding obedience. I could feel him searching, rooting through the memories, trying to find the information he wanted.

"Search all you want," I grit out, straining under the invasion of his forceful presence. "You won't find anything. You are wasting your time."

He paused, as though he was unsure of what to do next. His smooth, narrow chin quivered as though troubled. His eyes were like endless pools of blackness, penetrating into me without so much as a blink.

I couldn't understand it. What I had imagined hiding beneath the mask he wore was not what I had expected. Kylo Ren was young, and he had an aristocratic beauty about him. Had the situation been different I would have even considered him attractive.

A wave of dizziness hit me and I swayed for a second, but did not fall. The air seemed to catch me, invisible hands steadying me as I regained my balance.

"Look at how  _weak_  you are. So afraid. So broken," Kylo Ren uttered with an incline of his head, his inky hair drifting with the motion.

He turned on his heels, clearly finished with our little chit-chat. His gloved hands fisted at his sides as he began to stride for the door.

"At least my conscience is clear," I threw the jibe out, without thinking.

Ren heard it and stilled, his profile rotated towards me over the slope of his broad shoulder.

"Does it stop you from sleeping at night?" I asked snidely. I was treading a thin line here, but I couldn't help myself. " Do you feel any guilt or remorse at all?...After all, you did kill one of your parents."

I watched as his spine grew rigid. The muscles in his back rippled under his black attire. Compelling. A force not to be reckoned with.

" Will you kill me too?" I held my arms out in a gesture of beseechment. "Please, do it. Save me the trouble of having to spend another minute on this shithole of a ship."

Kylo Ren turned and approached me, the slowness at which he moved made unease congeal within my gut. His movements were graceful, like a feline, and as silent as a specter.

I realised something then in that moment. Despite his efforts, General Hux did not frighten me. His attempts to intimidate and dominate was an example of his weak character. He was a danger to me, but I was not threatened by him. Yet, the man that stood before me made me feel exposed and vulnerable in ways that I could not understand.

His boots paused a few feet away and I had to crane my neck back to keep the contact of our eyes. If I reached out an arm I could have easily touched him.

"You know nothing," he said tightly.

I gave a dry laugh, one that held no humour in it. "Exactly, I agree, I don't. Not about the map, about Skywalker, or Rey. Yet, here I am."

I had no worth to them. I was no one; a pitiful thief from a barren planet most had never even heard of. So, why was I still here? I had already lost my freedom, dignity and family. There was nothing left to give, and nothing left for them to take from me.

My thoughts drifted to the resistance, to Rey and the others. Han Solo...

"Do you even have any idea what I would have given to have had a father like yours," I asked, tilting my face further up to him.

The line of Kylo Ren's jaw grew taut and conflict danced across his features. "Consider yourself fortunate to have been spared that burden."

"A burden?" I scoffed, stunned by his blatant ignorance. "Is that all he was to you? He loved you."

"Love is a useless emotion," he responded coolly, "It will do nothing but thwart you until you remove it from your path."

My mouth fell open. "You're unbelievable."

"Am I? It is your useless feelings for others that has trapped you here, and now everyone has deserted you." His gaze drifted across my face, seeking. Searching.

"And you?" I batted back to him with a snap, my anger beginning to boil. " Aren't you the same? You're so desperate for acceptance and praise from your  _beloved_  Snoke. Why do you follow him?"

"He is my master."

"Han Solo was your  _father!"_ I shouted it to him, fury giving impact to my words.

I barely had time to take a breath before something wrapped around my throat like a vice. I gasped for breath, clawing at the air to try and free myself. Kylo Ren's outstretched arm trembled, fingers flexing with his scarcely controlled temper.

" What do you know about any of it?" He grit out through his teeth. "I  _wanted_  to become a Jedi, I  _wanted_  to make them proud, but instead they betrayed me!"

"Betrayed you?" I choked. My heart thudded in my ears, my lungs burning for oxygen.

Ren leaned in, his face inches away from mine. "The Supreme Leader taught me much. He gave me purpose and showed me the truth about the fickle loyalties of others."

"That's what he wants you to think."

His demeanour calmed. His grip slackened slightly, enough for me to take a deep inhale of beautiful clear air.

"They never came for me," his voice dropped to a soft whisper. "Not once."

I saw then something I hadn't noticed before. There, lurking in the dark void of his eyes. Hiding. Though it was only a ghost of a shadow, I recognised it instantly.

Pain. Anguish... Loneliness.

"But now, I am more powerful than any of them could imagine, and they fear it," he continued, without pause and without hesitation. "They try to appeal to my humanity because they are afraid."

I didn't know what to say to him. He didn't deserve sympathy, not for the things he'd done to innocent people. But no matter how much I tried to deny it, I found myself pitying him. He was so blinded, so blinkered to the truth of what was happening. Despite his manly stature, he truly did seem like a lost child, wandering the world. Unsure and misguided.

The grip around my throat faded away, leaving a ghost of a touch upon my skin.

"There will be no compassion from me," Ren uttered quietly, resolute and strong as the ancient stones of a mountain. "There will be no forgiveness. The resistance will die and the past with it. Ben Solo... _is dead_."

He spun away and stalked towards the door to leave.

"Ben?" I whispered with confusion.

My stare remained glued to his back as the doors began to slide shut behind him.

And then it began to dawn on me...

That was his name. His  _real_  name.

_Ben Solo..._

_-o-o-_

* * *

-o-o-

Something drew me from my sleep. I opened my eyes and alarm slammed into me when I noticed the lights of the room were out. Darkness surrounded me, a familiar and unwanted companion. The ship was quiet, I could not hear the guards at the door, a sure sign they'd left their post to rest for the evening. After all, it wasn't like I could go anywhere. The chains that bound me prevented me from escaping or going anywhere. A chill filled the room and I shivered from my position across the floor.

I lifted myself up and peered into the shadows, but could see nothing. My chains rattled as I moved, scraping loudly, making my spine become rigid.

Something was amiss. I knew it by the way the hairs on my arms stood on end. The oppressive sensation of being watched ran over me.

I wasn't alone.

"Who's there?" It came out like a croak.

I tried to swallow back the fear that crept up into my throat.

"I know you're there, you might as well-"

"Lower your voice," someone spoke deeply from the blackness, and I jumped in surprise. "Unless you wish to wake the entire fleet."

I recognised the owner of that voice. I could feel Kylo Ren's presence lurking nearby and I turned my head, trying to seek out his shape in the blackness.

It had hardly been a few hours since our last conversation together. Why was he here again? I found it strange and suspicious that he was seeking me out again.

The darkness unsettled me, I feared it more than I feared the man that hid within it. It suffocated me, smothering me from all angles like a heavy blanket. All my other senses heightened and panic tightened around my chest like a vice.

"Turn on the lights," I breathed.

"We won't be needing any," was Kylo Ren's steady reply.

My breathing grew erratic. A fog descended over my logic, clouding reality around me. I didn't like this, not one bit. It was too familiar, too similar to those times spent locked away in the coal hatch. I lifted a hand towards my face, but wasn't able to see it.

"Please," I begged, no longer caring about who heard me. When there was no answer I tried to call out to him. "...Ben?"

My visitor gave a sound, a cross between a hiss and a low snarl. "Do not call me by that name."

I clenched my fingers tightly against the floor, my nails almost breaking as I tried to anchor myself. "What do you want?" I gushed, "I already told you, I don't-"

"Why did your father hate you?"

The question took me aback, forcing me to grow mute with surprise. My brows dipped, troubled. Of all the thing I'd been expecting him to say, that was not it. Why did he want to know about such personal things about me? He'd already been inside my head and seen some of my most precious and worst memories. So why now did he ask me to tell them to him? I hated the fact he already knew so much about me.

"What does it matter?" I snapped, "It's none of your business."

"I'm curious," he responded lightly, his voice dipping with softness as though in genuine interest. " You said you would have given anything to have had a father like Han Solo. I want to know why."

"You already know why. You've seen it," I sighed.

"Yes," he said without denial. "But I want you to  _tell me._ "

Why? It was on the tip of my tongue to ask. I could not fathom his reasoning or intentions. I was a hostage, no one of importance. Yet, I could feel his stare delving into me. I wanted more than anything to be able to see his expression and understand his motives. But the gloom mocked me, shielding him from me.

"He was a gambler," I began slowly, " and a drunkard."

_No, Freya,_  I silently berated myself. _Don't tell him anything that he may use against you. Stop now._

"And your mother?" Ren queried lowly. There was no mockery or judgment from him, but also no warmth or pity either.

I could not for the life of me understand why I was even contemplating telling him about myself. I felt compelled to answer him. The more I spoke to him the less I was afraid. Hearing him beside me kept the panic at bay, a welcoming distraction from the pitch black that seemed to encroach from all around me.

"She was beautiful, very loving and extremely kind."

Memories came to me, like long lost friends, reminding me of a time long passed. I recalled the warmth of her embrace whenever I was sad. I remembered her sleek fingers turning the pages of the books that she would read to me. Her impeccable patience as she taught me how to read and write. To sow. To cook.

My heart ached with longing and I clenched my jaw to fight back the sorrow that swept over me like a dark cloud. I was suddenly appreciative of the dark room, comforted by the fact Kylo Ren could not see me, or the tears that flooded my eyes.

"She was affectionate?" He probed further.

It was an odd question coming from one such as him, but I found myself answering nonetheless.

"Very much so."

Silence settled, I was so lost and deep in my thoughts that it took me a while to notice it stretched out between us.

"Tell me more," he urged, barely a whisper.

Like the opening of floodgates, I found myself being hurtled back to that time, that single event that always haunted me. I was getting sucked down into a black hole, spiralling out of control, only to be faced with the cold hard truth of what had happened.

"When my mother died from illness," I began, dazed. "It was just the two of us, my father and I. His gambling habits became worse, and his temper grew short. He hated me. He made it clear every day that I was a burden to him."

_You're nothing but a thorn in my side..._

_I don't even want to look at you. Get out of my sight..._

_You shouldn't have been born. You should have died and saved us the trouble..._

"He would abuse me," I continued, lowering my face away. "Sometimes he would punish and beat me. He would lock me inside a hatch, knowing how much I hated the dark..." I trailed off, swallowing thickly.

"Something happened... What was it?"

Kylo Ren was beside me now. Close. His clothing rustled with his movements, his boots creaking against the floor and he shifted his position. I tilted my head sideways to him, but still could not see anything.

It would have been wiser, I realised, to remain silent and not answer him. It was foolish to confide in someone such as Kylo Ren. Yet a part of me yearned to let another human being know about who I was, and my past.

"One day he threw me inside the hatch and left." I closed my eyes tightly, reliving the incident, like I always did in my dreams. "Only he didn't return. He was attacked by a group of thugs, robbed and murdered in the street... He never came home."

I shook my head as grief swarmed me without relent. "For days I was trapped in there, screaming for help," I said quietly. "It was so dark, and I was so afraid. I thought I was going to die... A neighbour eventually came and found me."

I sniffled and lifted my head back up towards his direction. "So that is why I envy you," I explained. "Even in your darkest moments your mother and father have always there for you. Thinking about you. Struggling with you." My words dropped to a sad whisper, "They love you, but you don't see it."

The air stirred at my side. Fabric brushed against my arm in a soft caress. Leather creaked as Kylo Ren lowered to kneel next to me, so incredibly close. His body heat reached me. His breath fanned against the hair at my temples. My throat went dry with unease and something else that I could not name. We simply sat like that for a moment, acknowledging one another's presence in the darkness.

"Do you think I am redeemable?" his voice was thick, heavy with an emotion I could not fathom.

He waited for my answer and I sensed an urgent need to take care with my answer. The man who sat quietly next to me was capable of many things. His calmness lay balanced upon a razor's edge and I had to treat with caution.

"I think anyone can change, if they want it enough to fight for it," I replied carefully.

Seconds ticked by, maybe even minutes where neither of us spoke. The atmosphere pulsated, dancing between us, making the hairs on the nape of my neck stand tall.

Something touched my neck and I flinched back with a gasp. Leather covered fingers brushed against the column of my throat gently. As if by magic, the shackles around me opened and the chains fell to the floor in a useless heap, clanking noisily.

Just like that, they were gone, removed by the power of his will.

I lifted a hand to rub at my now bare arms, frowning with confusion. "But why-"

"Do not try anything foolish," he demanded, rising to stand once again. He towered over me, watching me intently. "Tomorrow you will return to your cell."

I heard him begin to walk away towards the door, intending to leave.

"Hux will-" I began with unease.

"General Hux will follow my orders." It was spoken with command, refusing to be denied or ignored.

I shook my head, uncertain and hardly able to believe what was happening. "Why are you doing this?" I whispered into the gloom to him.

"Rest," he said, ignoring my question. "Consider this a small mercy from me. But know this..." he trailed off, his tone lowering dangerously with dark promise. "If you test me, I will make you regret it."

My silence was enough agreement for him to be satisfied. With nothing left to be said he continued through the open doors and into the corridor beyond. I stayed knelt, trapped in a state of bewilderment. Just as the door swung shut behind him the lights above my head suddenly blazed into life, filling the room with brightness. Erasing all signs of the darkness, and my fear along with it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**-o-o-o-**

" _Lost and insecure... you found me"_  - The Fray

-o-o-o-

Something was amiss. The entire fleet was tense, highly active. Crew members rushed down the corridors outside. Voices shouted in the distance. A warning call sounded out, requesting for all personnel to go to their posts. My two guards turned to one another, sharing a look. Unease settled in my stomach as another trooper walked up to them and began to speak. I couldn't hear them very well but managed to catch little snippets of the conversation.

_Bombers… Dreadnought destroyed... Resistance..._

Hope sang in my veins; the resistance was nearby, fighting against the First Order.

True to Kylo Ren's word my chains had stayed removed, but I had been waiting for seemed like an eternity to be moved back to my original cell. I approached the edge of the platform cautiously, pausing when all three troopers spun to me and began to approach. One grabbed my arm, pulling me forward roughly.

"Move, scum," one of them barked through their helmet to me. "You're being transferred."

I allowed them to tug me along with them. I had no intention of fighting them or trying to escape. This was my chance. The resistance was nearby. Were coming for me? I decided I would play the docile captive for now, until I had my chance.

We made our way down the hallway. I remained silent throughout the journey, my eyes and ears on high alert. Soaking up every detail and piece of information that I could.

We took a left into a narrower part of the ship. Two figures stood at midway down it, their voices whispering loud enough so I could hear them.

"First the father, and then the mother," one of them said, "Organa and the resistance won't have a leg to stand on..."

As we neared the two males became clearer to me. I recognised one of them instantly. A head turned towards me and a pair of icy eyes met mine, glittering with disgust and hate.

General Hux.

He stood beside another high ranking officer, pausing mid-sentence when we began to wander past them. His glare burned into me, slicing at me like a razor. I glanced away but looked again when I noticed something strange about him. He appeared dishevelled. His pale hair unkempt and wild. Crimson trailed down his chin, seeping from the split in his lip, as though he'd been punched. My frown turned into a smirk of delight.

_Good. I hope they knocked your teeth out, asshole._

His words repeated in my mind, forcing the smile from my lips. First the father... And then the mother. He'd mentioned Organa. I put the two together and came to a very unlikely conclusion.

Was she Kylo Ren's mother? Surely not.

We stopped before an elevator, waiting for it to reach our level. When it arrived it became very clear to us that it wasn't empty. From within the doors we could hear a deep voice bellowing with fury, like the roaring of a wild animal. Something smashed, shattering loudly, causing us all to flinch. Heavy repeated thuds rocked the entire metal tube.

I noticed the troopers beside me took a step back, as though already knowing the danger that lurked within. I could taste their fear as the doors began to open.

The black-clad figure inside spun to us, his eyes fervid with menace. Kylo Ren snarled at us and I took a step back to give him clearance. Clutched in his gloved hand was the dreaded mask he always wore, pulverized and dented within an inch of its life. He looked mad, volatile like an explosive ready to go off at any second.

"Prepare my ships!" he bellowed, pushing his way out of the elevator to storm passed us.

A heavy weight pushed against my mind, a warning of impending doom. A thorn of a thought stabbed at me, causing worry to gnaw inside my chest. Was he planning to attack the resistance? Such a plan of action was incredibly reckless. Even worse was the idea that he may be going after a certain female General...

_First the father_... _And then the mother._

"Don't!" I shouted without thinking, spinning on my heels towards him.

Kylo Ren's retreating form paused. His back still faced us, but it was tense. His control on the brink of snapping.

"Don't do this," I said quietly, trying to use the power of my voice to calm him. "She's your mother, isn't she? Leia is your mother?"

He straightened in response to my words; it would seem I'd hit the nail right on the head.

"She is an obstacle in my way," he stated without feeling.

I didn't believe him, though. I could hear the tightness in his voice, the turmoil behind his words. I battled inwardly with myself. He was no one to me, I should have been happy for him wanting to destroy himself. Yet something was urging me to reach out to him. I couldn't stand by and do nothing. I had to try.

I had to reach him somehow.

"She loves you," I started gently, "I'm sure of it."

"Enough," he growled lowly. His patience wearing thin.

"She is still the same woman you knew before," I continued. " She still wants you to be her son."

"Enough!"

I barely had the time to close my mouth before a lightsaber blazed into life. Kylo Ren whirled on me, his arms arching high before bring the weapon slicing down upon me with deadly intent. I screamed, shooting back. My arms flung up to cover my face in protection. The fiery red beam scorched its way towards me, passing mere inches away from my skin before slamming into the wall beside my head.

Sparks flew hotly around us. I stood there, immobilised with disbelief. My legs turned into pure liquid as he brought the point of his saber towards my face again in warning.

I saw nothing within his dark eyes. They were empty voids. Closed and unfeeling.

"I will not be weak," Kylo Ren muttered, though his arm shook as though his weapon was as heavy at the universe itself.

"Then be strong," I said, swallowing back the thick fear clogged in my throat. "Don't do this."

A long moment passed. His arm began to lower.

"I know you are struggling, Ben." I tried again, watching the way his eyes flickered at the mention of his name. "Please, let me help you."

I was so desperate for him to listen to me. People were not born evil. I wanted to believe it was the same for him. I wanted to imagine a young Ben Solo playing with father, and being loved by a mother who treasured him.

"You can't help me," he whispered with a shake of his head. "Not now."

He didn't give me another chance to speak. Instead, he turned and stormed away, fading away around the corner and out of sight. Leaving me once again alone with the troopers, and my troubled feelings.

-o-o-

* * *

-o-o-

As planned I was placed back into my original cell, a familiar duo of troopers guarding the entrance. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it felt like an age since my brief encounter with Kylo Ren in the corridor. Unease rolled through my gut like a heavy stone. I paced restlessly like a caged tiger. I was on edge, but for reasons I could not understand. My eyes kept glancing towards the doorway, expecting something to happen. I could hear people occasionally walking by, voices chattering.

I had no idea what was going on. My mind conjured up all kinds of horrors. I imagined resistance ships being blown to oblivion, with Kylo Ren leading the hunt.

I hated him; I kept telling myself it. Yet, did hate make you feel this confused and troubled? I wasn't so sure anymore. Disappointment and worry gnawed at my insides. I wanted so much to believe that Ben Solo was still the boy he used to be. Part of me wanted to see him walk away from his devious plans, but he'd already killed Han Solo, his father. My faith was beginning to fade. I was starting to think I was hoping for the impossible.

Why did I even care? The silent question puzzled me even further. I shouldn't have given a damn about him, or what he did. Karma comes to bite you – as they say. I should keep my distance. Be safe. Focus on myself. Survive, as I always did.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed with agitation. I was so fucking tired of this shop. Fed up with being a captive. I felt helpless, completely useless. I was in the middle of space. There was nowhere to run or escape to. I was like a rock, sitting here doing nothing while the world around me battled and burned.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. My back straightened in attention and spun to face the doorway.

"I'm sorry, sir," I heard someone speak from the other side, "General Hux has requested that the prisoner is not to be-"

The trooper's voice was cut off sharply, followed by a startled howl of pain. Something heavy thudded, slamming against the metal with a loud clang that made me wince. The door finally swung open to reveal the tall slender figure of Kylo Ren.

I frowned, confused and somewhat surprised by his strange entry. My guards lay in a heap at his feet, unconscious. My eyes met his across the space. He looked dangerous. His inky black hair was wild around his pale features. Sweat glistening across his brow, along with…

Tears?

_What the fu…_

Of all the things I had been expecting, this was not it. He was my enemy, my captor, yet he was crying. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea what was even going on.

I had no time to process what was happening. Kylo Ren stormed his way forward, his hair and cowl billowing with the hasty motion. His face was like thunder, dark and terrible. His fist slammed down upon the control pad, removing the shimmering barrier around me. I reared up, shooting backward in fear as his hand wrapped around my wrist tightly. My heart rose up into my throat in panic. He spun on his heel without a word and began to drag me behind him, striding into the corridor.

"Ben, stop!" I hissed, bursting into struggle.

I dug my heels in, trying to use my body weight to yank my arm free of him. His grip was like steel upon my limb, unmoving and powerful, pulling me with ease.

"You're hurting my arm! Let go!" I bellowed as fury began to boil in my blood.

Kylo Ren didn't even glance back at me, nor did he say a word as we approached the familiar entrance to his personal chambers.

A pair of uniformed officials came walking around the corner and directly towards us. I noticed their surprise and confusion. One stepped forward warily, glancing back at his companion before addressing Ren.

"Sir," his voice wavered as his eyes took in Kylo Ren's murderous expression. "The Supreme Leader requests for you to-"

The poor guy didn't even get to finish his sentence. With a flick of impatience with his hand, Kylo Ren sent him flying into a nearby wall, knocking him out cold. He did even hesitate or pause in his stride. My own wide eyes fell to the second officer, who spun hastily on his heels and began to rush away, not even bothering to help his fallen comrade.

The doors before us flew open and I was yanked harshly inside, my arm almost wrenched from its socket. I spun, my hair flying as I looked to Kylo Ren as though he was some kind of possessed creature. The doors slid shut, sealing the two of us within its embrace.

He began to advance. I shuffled back a step needing distance away from him. His shoulders shuddered as he heaved in gulping breaths. Towering over me, he clenched his fists, staring down at me as though he wished nothing more than to wrap his hands around my throat and throttle me.

I licked my lips nervously, unsure of what to do or what to say. Something had happened.

Had he done it? Had he killed his mother, Leia?

"Is she..." I whispered, choosing my words carefully. "...dead?"

I wanted to know. I needed to know who stood before me right now. Ben Solo or Kylo Ren?

I found my answer in the blackened depths of his dark eyes. There, lurking in the shadows. Anguish. Turmoil. Regret. But it was not the remorse of a killer that looked back at me. It was too soft, too warm.

"You couldn't do it," I answered for him, realisation dawning. "You spared her."

It was the wrong thing to say to him. His expression darkened, twisting into a snarl. His hand flew up and with it my body. My feet left the floor and I was flung back hard onto the bed behind me. For a second the room span, I bounced with the impact as it jarred the breath from my lungs. I barely had time to register what had happened before a heavy weight slammed down onto me. I struggled, kicking my legs out wildly as Kylo Ren straddled himself across my hips, pinning me down. He hunched over me until his face was inches away from mine. My arms swung out, trying to slam my fist into cheek, but invisible binds pulled my limbs back and fastened them to the bed beside my head.

Completely trapped, I glared up at him. Breathing hard.

"Get off me asshole. What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I seethed, even though fear was flowing through my veins like a poison.

A gloved hand rose, hovering across my throat. Not touching, but a silent threat. His breaths blasted against my cheek. Dark eyes stared down at me, burning into me.

"I can take anything I want from you. I could do it without a single moment of hesitation or remorse. Do not think for one second that I won't," he rasped, choking on his own words. "I am unbalanced. I feel nothing... I feel nothing for  _you._ "

I stilled beneath him. He spoke with so much menace and hatred, yet I was confused by his words. What did he mean by feeling nothing for me? I had never said that he did. I'd never even considered the idea. And yet…

I peered closely at his face, memorising it, searching it for answers to questions I didn't even know. But I knew one thing for certain; he was lying. Lying to me and to himself. He was desperate to prove his worth and value, but he lacked conviction.

Something in me softened to him. His pointed chin wobbled, unshed tears glistened in his eyes like diamonds.

"I..." his voice cracked, tight with emotion. "... _failed_."

"No." I shook my head at him. "You were merciful, that's not weakness."

"Mercy?" He echoed with mockery. A derisive chuckle shook his wide shoulders. "We shall see..."

His hand found my tunic suddenly, gripping the collar, bearing down with enough power to rip the fabric a few inches down.

Taken aback, I gave a cry of alarm. He paused mid-tear, hearing it. Our eyes met, joining in a way that resonated deeply within my being. Something passed between us, a shadow of a thought, a ghost of an emotion. For a second, we were no longer enemies. Not light or dark. Good or evil. We were simply two people, trapped by fate, lost in a world that neither wanted nor accepted us. He was me, and I was him.

His face lowered, his nose so close that it brushed against mine. I thought for a strange, eerie moment that he was going to kiss me, but instead his head turned and buried itself within the crook of my neck. The invisible hands holding me disappeared. My arms lifted without thought, wrapping around Kylo Ren's back and shoulders. I stroked his hair like a mother would a child. In return, he clung to me tightly, gripping me with such force that I struggled to draw breath.

Silence filled the room. We lay that way for a long time, holding one another, huddled upon the bed. Two souls seeking comfort that only the other could provide. I couldn't even remember the last time someone had held me this way. Or the last time someone had needed me.

Time seemed to go on forever, and I wished that it would never end. It made me realise just how alone I'd been, for such a long time.

Surrounded by Kylo Ren's heat, I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to overtake me.


End file.
